Loquacious Verve

Another year rolls by...

2011-04-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

Well, well, well. It seems I've been a neglectful blogger, and I'm finding myself drawn to return to share my current journey here.

I'm into my second year of my nursing degree, half way through my third semester. I'm loving it. Really I am. I didn't ever think that nursing was something that would appeal to me nearly half as much as it does, and I'm looking forward to my first prac rotation this semester. I have two med/surg rotations to look forward to, and whilst to a future midwife that might seem like a contradiction in interests, I find the area of nursing interesting enough in it's own right, and surgical nursing is really starting to appeal. Quel surprise.

The children grow as children do. We've had some ups and downs this year, nothing drastic though and it's more like riding a slightly choppy sea than a major storm.
Lochlain is now wearing glasses for a severe sight problem, and no longer seeing the palate/jaw team at the children's hospital. He's moved into pre-primary with the language school and has made a fantastic transition to full time schooling. New friends, old friends and a kid who just takes it all in his stride.

Will is cruising along in school, never misses a beat. He's really opened up this year and become heaps of fun to be around. He loves to experiment and try out loads of things. He's still very much a natural learner, and is exploring the world of 'planning' and spends his days 'planning' which fits so well with his need for control on the minute level.
Tristan is bored without his brothers home during the day, and whilst Rhiannon has become a fantastic playmate, she's not quite compliant enough for Tristan to get his way every time and that challenges him. They play, they fight, they play, they fight.... and then they eat, they fight, they play, they eat.... you get the idea.

Andrew has begun his post graduate diploma of education this year. He's studying externally, online via a university in Victoria so that I can finish my degree.

The biggest changes really this year have come from me, for me. I am working on my health as much as I can. I've addressed my overweighted-ness and have vowed to continue to make myself the priority for me this year. I've just this week had my gallbladder removed and while I am in recovery from the laproscopic surgery I am focusing on the family foods. I can't exercise at the moment, so I have to maintain my focus in other ways.
I've been running the Couch to 5km program and a day shy of the 5th week. It's taken me 8 weeks to get there because I was so unfit in the beginning. It started with me not even being able to jog for 30 seconds. Now I am up to jogging for 5 minutes at a time.
I've been doing a weights training program up to four times per week as well, and adding in bike riding and other incidental exercise where I can. I feel fitter now than I have in the last 8 years. I am still overweight. Massively so, but I am working on all the facets of long term weight loss, not just stepping on scales and berating myself.

So I'm playing. And I'm living. Right now I'm recuperating. My life is changing before my eyes. I'm re-entering the world of grown ups, away from the hazy baby days of newborns, naps, and nights that go forever to dawns.
I vow to return to blogging more frequently this year. I'll make it part of the 'new dawn'. It's a new day. And I'm feeling good.

A May Musing

2010-05-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated here since I started uni, and I do apologise but I have seriously just been too freakin' busy. I don't feel like I've come up for air in the last 4 months, and until I see the backside of these exams, I don't think that feeling's going to change.

I was catching up on a friend's blog today (hillsdweller) and just the pace of her blogging with the crafty bits and the foody bits and oh my I just wish I'd had the time recently to get into that. Sadly, I've just been going a million miles an hour and feeling like I've missed huge chunks of the past months, and it's all because I wanted it that way.

The course is awesome though and I am really loving it and I'm actually doing pretty well at the moment. I've got about an 84% course average, which isn't too shabby I don't think.
I feel like I've finally got my teeth sunk into something that's good for me, and good for helping me help others. It's what I should have done all along, but somewhere down the line I got the idea that I was no good at 'sciencey' stuff, turns out that's a load of codswallop and I am nailing it, total surprise for me!

As for the day to day bits and pieces -
I'll start with today and work backwards and forwards at once, I know that won't suit everyone, but meh. You get that.

Today was the caveman's (aka Husband) birthday. It's the 10th birthday of his we've shared together. And like most of them it involved no gifts, cards or the like. Mostly because I am lazy, and partly because he doesn't like that kind of thing. Total win for me, no stress.

I took the two little boys, Lochie and Tristan, to the WCE v St Kilda game at Subiaco in the afternoon, but we left early because it was just too cold and uncomfortable for them and they weren't really into being there when they realised I wasn't going to be buying them a tonne of junk food to eat. Ah well. We got to have a birthday dinner with their grandad because it's his birthday too, so they got cake anyway, not a total failure of a day.

William starts swimming lessons through school tomorrow and I am a little peeved that his school pulled the 'middle of winter' straw again for the second year in a row (that I know of). Last year he ended up with bronchialitis by the end of it, and I am seriously hoping that it doesn't happen again this year. He hasn't had croup yet so far, so I am pegging my hopes on a shift in his immune system/constitution that's meant less respitory issues will eventuate this year. Touching wood. A girl can hope, right?

Aside from this, I am going to have leave this post with a small photo update of the other muppets. I have run out of time and am being summoned...

A brief catch up xxx.

Our 'Down South' Retreat...

2010-02-07T12:30:00.001+08:00

A trip to Gracetown, WA in January 2010.
We had to attend a wedding at Brookland Estate just outisde of Margaret River, so we hired a holiday house in Cowaramup Bay.
It was sensational. We had the closest house to the beach in town, a gorgeous old retiree's shack.
We did all the usual tourist trips, the chocolate factory, had a lunch at a brewery, a wedding on a vineyard.
We took a day trip to Augusta down Caves Rd, stopping to do a cave on the way down. I can't remember what it was called... I'll have to look it up.

I had a ball. I didn't want to come home.

Manifesto of the Idle Parent

2010-02-07T12:07:00.001+08:00

The Manifesto Of An Idle Parent

We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
That should mean that they leave us alone, too
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
We drink alcohol without guilt
We reject the inner Puritan
We fill the house with music and laughter
We don't waste money on family days out and holidays
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment

I read this a few nights ago via a facebook link through a friend.
At first glance, I was really keen on it, I agreed with it. But after being prompted to look at it again today, I realise I have more than one or two issues with this manifesto.
The first issue being simply that I can't live by a manifesto. A public declaration of my intentions... well my intentions might change tomorrow, and then what?

But anyway, the idea that because I leave my children alone (and I do, really), because I expect them to not want to be constantly entertained or pandered to, that they'll leave me alone in kind. Hmm, no, it doesn't happen and I don't think I'd like it to happen. Sure, they play by themselves for the majority of the day while I supervise from the peripheral, but I am included often and am asked to join in with whatever it is that's captured their imagination for the moment. I'd be sad if they really left me alone.
It's true, I've often (possibly too often) cried 'just leave me be for a minute'... but that mostly comes from having a small child in arms and on the breast for the most part of the last 6 years, I get touched out. But I only ever want them to sit next to me instead of on me, really. I don't ever want to be alone. I don't mean that I don't want to be by myself, I simply never want to be alone.

Now read on in this manifesto, to the bit about reading poetry and stories without morals. I will admit to being confused here. I read to my kids, and often preselect books for our collection that cover a realm of different areas of social conscience, not necessarily morals that are upheld by the greater community. Sometimes we read poems about bums and farts, and fall about in fits of laughter... no morals or lessons there. But I don't think I'd be committing to never reading anything to my children that wasn't, at least in part, attempting to vicariously bring their attention to potential quandries they may one day need to address. I do believe in letting my children have fun with reading.

When it comes to the item about alcohol, I have to admit my IGG went ballistic. I can understand not wanting to drink alcohol with guilt. I don't believe we should feel guilt about enjoy a drink or two, and sometimes a few more, but I can't live with that as part of my day to day goings about. I don't feel guilt over indulging my taste buds with a Baileys on ice at night, but I do believe I'd feel guilt, and rightly so, about indulging every day, and more than enough to alter my ability to parent. So whilst I agree with drinking alcohol without guilt... I guess in my head there's always the addendum: in moderation.
I'm guessing any who read this would be thinking "well, that's a no brainer", but from what I've encountered in the world of parenting, it's apparently not as obvious to some.

It then comes to the encouragement of no family days/holidays. I totally agree. We don't go on holidays for the sake of a 'family holiday'. We don't need encouragement to spend time together in the form of forced company. We spend tonnes of time together every day, because we all live under the same roof and my children still rely on myself and hubby as their only mode of transport outside of the yard. Our family days are really every day. Every day we've got something on, or not. Every day we are a family. We don't need to, nor would I want to make a big deal of us being connected as a family. We simply are, organically.

We go on holidays, albeit not as often as we'd like simply due to lack of funds. Last year I took Rhiannon to Adelaide for 5 days. Over December we went camping, all 6 of us. In January we went to Gracetown, WA for 5 days as husband was expected at a wedding down there as he was the best man. But they're weren't specific family holidays, they're just holidays we do as a family, because where we go, the kids go for the most part.
Take today, for example, we're about to head out to the farmer's market. A veritable family day out, but it's not really, it's just a day and as a family we're headed out. But it's not a 'family day' where we're committed to spending the day together in some false hope of fostering a connection by force.

And then my last nitpick: Down with school. Hmm, well I understand the basis of the homeschool/unschooling arguments. I just don't agree with them enough to give it a go. I have a two kids who love school.
They're always offered the opportunity to stay home, but when given the choice, 9 times out of 10, they'll choose to go to school. I guess that's because their friends are there, and they have structured activities to look forward to (unlike the complete chaos of home).
I do sometimes think 'down with school'... it's true, I would love for my boys to be home and happy and just hanging out. Over the long summer break, we had a great time, but by the end of the 6 or so weeks, our big lad was in need of something other than what we had to offer. Sure in a homeschool/unschool environment I'd be forced to look for stimulation for him outside of the school setting. But I have things I want to do this year for me. I'm returning to school. My husband will be teaching at a school. School is a pretty big part of our lives right now, and will be for at least the next 4 years... so sure, 'down with school'... so long as I've still got the option to send my children there ;-).

As for the rest of this manifesto... It's pretty much spot on. I'm sure that the bits I was hesitant to accept are mostly just areas that lacked explanatory notes. I am an Idle Parent. So is husband. We want our children to be self sufficient, and not needing to rely on anyone/thing for encouragement or enthusiasm in life. I want them to be entertained within their natural landscape without having to seek artificial stimulation, whether it be television, electronics or ballet.
Don't get me wrong, if the kids ask to be allowed to participate in something that they are interested in, or want to learn about, then hell yes, I'm there. But I won't be enrolling them in every extra-cirricular activity for the sake of keeping them busy and filling their lives with 'opportunities' which really aren't that opportune at all.

It's not laziness. It's not even lack of wealth. It's wanting my children to be the best they can be, all on their own.

Lacking in Skills

2010-02-06T22:11:00.003+08:00

So we've survived the school holiday, religious holiday, public holiday nightmare (??) that is December and January. Another day, another year. It's all flying by so fast.
I am about to enter a new degree at university, in a totally different area from where I've studied previously, and to be honest I'm starting to get a little nervous. I'm nervous that I'm just not organised enough as a person.
I have 4 children. Four delightful, sensational, incredible people who fill my days with comotion and calamity, cuddles and chaos.
Honestly, our house is never still. Even now, when all four little ones are asleep, there is so much more to be done, and yet I sit here blogging a while, just to wind down instead of continuing to tackle the monumental stack of 'to dos' that really nag for my attention. But that's ok, I'm going to have my cup of tea and indulge my nervousness for a moment while I can sit and think about what it is that really needs addressing within me.
We have a full plate here, really. As do many others, most others in fact. The more time you have, the better you are at filling it to the point where you NEED more time. Right?
Our biggest lad, Will is in Year 1 this year, he loves school. Absolutely hated being home over the holidays, because he was sure he was missing out at school and we were just keeping him home as a weird punishment. His first day back, he was so relieved to discover that everyone else in his class had been forced to have time off as well and he hadn't, in fact, missed a bloody thing.
Our next biggest boy, Lochie, started at Kindy this year, and he too is really diggin' it. He doesn't go to a mainstream school, he does require special education for his severe speech delay, but after seeing the Cleft Palate and Maxillofacial Unit again yesterday I'm happy to report that this is the only intervention he'll be recieving this year. And what an intervention it is. 2 days a week of intensive speech therapy disguised as Kindy, it's bloody brilliant, but I can see that it's going to be exhausting for him. He works so hard, and has come so far already in the last 18 months. But we are so thrilled that he's been cleared of any structural issues that we need to combat, and that we are safe to continue with addressing his functional issues.
Tristan, the little boy who doesn't grow, is devestated that he's now without brothers a couple of days a week and left with only a boring old baby to play with. She's not really interacting with him in the way he'd like most of the time, which is leading to a lot of 'donked baby on head' and 'thunk....waaaaaaaaaaaah'. Ahhh remiscient of when it was just two little boys at home.
Crawlergrrl, wowee, she's so keen to catch her brothers. She began crawling sometime before Christmas, and hasn't been the same since. She is much, much happier for a start, obviously her reflux is settled now that she can keep herself upright as well as in arms. She still loves hanging out in the sling with me, but is quite content to chase the boys out the back door and be entertained by them for quite some time.
But all of this keeps me no busier than any other parent of four I don't think. Sure, I work outside of the home one day a week. In all honesty, it's not really something I consider 'work'. It's a break. An honest to goodness break from the high energy, frenetic madness that I seem to encounter within the four walls at home. At work I can drink a cup of HOT coffee, I can eat with two hands, not having to share a thing or inhale it before disaster strikes. I love being at work just long enough to breathe deep and count to 10. Being at work doesn't make me disorganised, it encourages me to be organised... making sure I've got enough expressed milk, that I take my breastpump with me, that I take the right car, access cards, wallet, brain etc... All of this encourages organisation in my completely disorganised self.
I have tried hard to make a positive start to the year simply by encouraging myself to use a diary. You know, one made of real paper, that you write in with a real pen - not a virtual/online/computer version. It's red. It's got lovely coloured paper. And just over a month into the year, I've managed to maintain it as a point of reference for my seemingly hectic weeks.
In my defence, we have had a lot of appointments come up again (Tristan's hernia, Lochlain's palate/speech issues, Rhiannon's ears, my thyroid, Will's allergies, Andrew's eyes, etc etc etc), but still, I do have days in a week where I have no commitments and I just seem to struggle with knuckling down and getting much of anything done. I'd rather read a book. Or sit in the sun at the park with good pals and chinwag over cake. I know it's probably normal to want and prefer to do those things over chores, or sorting, or arranging. But that doesn't change the fact that there are things that NEED doing and I avoid and procrastinate to the point of ridiculousness. Why? Do you leave everything to the last minute in the same way I do?
I just wonder what it is that makes me put things off. And how can I encourage, or even force, myself to just get on with it from now on?
I began walking of an evening after dinner last year, and I loved it, and hour of just one foot in front of the other for an hour or more, and I felt wonderful for it. The endorphin rush after a great rise in heartrate and a decent sweat were phenomonal. But during the chaos of Christmas, I've let it slip and try as I might I just cannot motivate myself right now to keep it up. Actually, here's a thought... it's now 10:38p.m. If I go to bed now, and set my alarm for a reasonable hour of the morning, perhaps I can encourage a morning jog instead. Right. Am going to post this and turn off the computer. Procrastinate no more tonight. I'm just going to do it. I'll repost back tomorrow. Let's see if I can make a difference just by venting my concerns in this format.

Scrawls

2009-10-14T21:52:00.002+08:00

Winter Dark

2009-10-12T21:04:00.002+08:00

picture by coconut

It finally resembles something akin to Spring here in Perth. Kamabarang, the Noongar name for one of our six seasons. Kamabarang is a far more apt name for what is happening around here right now. Something tells me the Noongar have a far better understanding of the way of the world in these parts…

The sun is beginning to peek through the cloud more often than not. The ground is warming and giving off that earthy, lush smell. Wildflowers in abundance. On the road side, in the parks, in my garden. Bright, warm, inviting, captivating. The air is no longer crisp. The air is affectionate, it wraps itself around you, enveloping you in a gentle caress, and oh how I have missed that touch. Tantalising and teasing you with all that you know Spring and Summer will bring.

I loathe Winter. I really, truly do. Every year, around June, my mind is taken over by a strange, dim fog. Nothing makes it go away until the sun returns in October. June through September is a horridly depressive and despairing time. And it’s really for no reason other than the sun is too far away to energise me. It is curing those in the opposite hemisphere of what I now suffer badly. The Winter Blues.

I’ve only really made the connection this year. I’ve begun looking back through old journals and online posts, and I’ve found that the colder and darker my world gets, the colder and darker I become. Like a bear, I retreat to my cave, and hibernate. I gather my blankets and my ugg boots. I indulge in my sweet and heavy foods. And I sit inside and wait for the sunshine to break through the cracks in the grey skies. I wait for the sunshine to bring my bliss back to me. I’ve found this year particularly shocking. There are a few reasons for this. For one, in the first week of June I gave birth. I roared a sweet and precious baby girl earth side in the calm between two Makuru storms. And that meant that I began the cold and dark days already confined. Even when it was light outside, I didn’t have the urge to soak up what was left of the sun for the season. I stayed inside with my fresh earthling, keeping warm and recovering from bearing her. Ensuring her access to the sweet and heavy milk she would need to make it through with me.

By the time I was ready to embrace the world again, as a new mother of four; the sun and warmth had dissipated. It was slate skies. Torrents of rain; heavy, hard, stinging rain. We had hail, and whilst my wee men enjoyed bringing me the ‘snow’ they’d collected off the lawn and learning about the stages of rain to snow and how that relates to water in its solid and liquid forms, all I felt inside was a deep desire to escape the bitterness and loneliness of Winter. I was trapped. I knew that I had to wait for the cycle to continue and that soon enough the sun would come again, but oh how long are those Winter nights, weeks on end of nothing but cold and stark, inspiration-less environments? My mood darkened with the lack of daylight. I could feel my fog descending on what I knew was clear thinking. Thoughts began to turn to the darker of humanity. Depression reigned. I had SAD.

I know that the transition of seasons here is consistent. I know it like I know that if I drop an apple it will fall to the ground, and if I stub my toe I will cry. But by the end of Djilba, the August-September season I’ve almost lost hope that my mood will improve. I resign myself to a fate of limited functioning because the cold has frozen parts of my brain and I can no longer think without a feeling of having a head stuffed with cotton wool. My husband can see it in my eyes, that wild searching for warmth and earthy spirit. He knows that I need to take my shoes off and feel dry dirt beneath my feet. He also knows that this is a pattern I follow, entirely dependent on the seasons. He wonders aloud “How different would your time be if you didn’t suffer Winter?” I know. I’ve lived in places where there is no Winter. And oh, how I long to be in one of those places by the end of September. I contemplate packing myself a bag, and walking to where it’s warmer.

By this point, my insanity is at its peak. I need warmth and I need it right now. A week later it’s October. Kambarang. Finally. I’d thank God if I thought there was one. I wake to see sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. It’s blinding. It’s orange and bright and it’s warm! Oh thank you! I wake, and I smile. For the first time in a long time. I know today is different. I can already feel it in my bones.

Over the coming days, I feel my lifespark reignite. I feel passion. I feel heat. I feel alive. The world around me agrees. The birds and the bees and the lawnmowing neighbours. My world is alive. And it’s bright and shiny out there. I’m overcome with gratitude for Sol, our sun, my sun, my saviour. I kneel and kiss the warming dirt. I smell divine, overwhelming smells of new life springing forth. My new life, my baby woman’s new life. All out in the air, the warm, sun touched air. My taste returns. I crave real food. The starch and the sugar of cold days no longer interest me. I want crisp, fresh, cool food to soothe my warming, scorching body.

I crave the company of people venturing out in the same world. Walking the same path. We sit in gardens, in sun dappled covens. Our toes bare. Tea and good food. Laughter and grinning and smiling while our skin crisps and sweats gently. Invigorated, we wish for the sun to get hotter, knowing that the strongest heat is yet to come, and knowing that when it arrives, we’ll curse it. But for now, we say goodbye to grey skies and howling winds. And we say goodbye to despair and darkness. Hello world! I’m outside and I am loving life.

The Silent Ways Our Rights Are Eroded

2009-07-05T23:51:00.003+08:00

They're going to make homebirth with a private practicing midwife illegal come July 2010. No really. Have a look for yourself: Midwife Professional Indemnity (Commonwealth Contribution) Scheme Bill 2009 http://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/...lication%2Fpdf HEALTH LEGISLATION AMENDMENT (MIDWIVES AND NURSE PRACTITIONERS) BILL 2009 http://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/...lication%2Fpdf If you believe in the rights of women, and the right of a woman to choose the how, when and where of HER birth get in touch with your local MP, rally with your fellow women, sign the petitions that are circulating and stamp your feet damn loudly. Even if your birthing days are long gone, you yourself would never choose to birth at home, or even, you don't ever plan to birth simply due to lack of inclination and/or reproductive capabilities (being also that it's possible that you're male) don't let them take the right to choose away from ALL Australian women. It's a basic human right to birth where we want to. This is about far more than birthing where there is nicer curtains and better food, this about our Government removing the right of a woman to self determination and bodily autonomy. If you want more information on how our government is creating a criminal of a woman making an informed choice, see these links to relevant blog posts - http://www.blognow.com.au/lookinggla..._violence.html http://www.homebirth.net.au/2009/06/...-midwives.html http://www.homebirth.net.au/2009/06/exterminate.html http://midwivesvictoria.blogspot.com...-minister.html http://viv.id.au/blog/20090625.5487/...gal-in-a-year/ http://www.ilithyiainspired.com/2009...ptember-7.html http://casmccullough.com/blog/?p=52 http://feminamist.wordpress.com/2009...-in-australia/http://viv.id.au/blog/20090629.5548/...-janet-fraser/ http://allthatsazz.blogspot.com/2009...hospitals.html http://allthatsazz.blogspot.com/2009...rth-flair.html http://allthatsazz.blogspot.com/2009...-canberra.html http://www.ilithyiainspired.com/2009...ustralias.html http://www.ilithyiainspired.com/2009...violating.html http://www.ilithyiainspired.com/2009...es-review.html http://shilohsthoughts.blogspot.com/ http://owlet-designs.blogspot.com/20...ar-nicola.html http://stitchsista.blogspot.com/2009...homebirth.html Make a submission to the Senate committee into the draft legislation about homebirth http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committ...s_09/index.htm http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committ...ers_09/tor.htmInquiry into Health Legislation Amendment (Midwives and Nurse Practitioners) Bill 2009 and two related Bills Reason for referral of the Bills and information relating to the reference On 25 June 2009 the Senate, on the recommendation of the Selection of Bills Committee, referred the provisions of the Health Legislation Amendment (Midwives and Nurse Practitioners) Bill 2009 and two related Bills to the Community Affairs Legislation Committee for inquiry and report by 7 August 2009. The Bills may be accessed at the following links: Health Legislation Amendment (Midwives and Nurse Practitioners) Bill 2009 Midwife Professional Indemnity (Commonwealth Contribution) Scheme Bill 2009 Midwife Professional Indemnity (Run-off Cover Support Payment) Bill 2009 Quote: The Committee invites you to provide a written submission which should be lodged by 20 July 2009. A public hearing will then be held later in July. The Committee prefers to receive submissions electronically as an attached document – email: community.affairs.sen@aph.gov.au – otherwise by fax (02 6277 5829). Submissions become Committee documents and are made public only after a decision by the Committee. Publication of submissions includes loading them onto the internet and their being available to other interested parties including the media. Persons making submissions must not release them without the approval of the Committee. Submissions are covered by parliamentary privilege but the unauthorised release of them is not protected. Information relating to Senate Committee inquiries, including notes to assist in the preparation of submissions for a Committee, can be located on the Internet at http://www.aph.gov.au/senate/committ..._sub/index.htm. For further information, contact: Committee Secretary Senate Standing Committee on Community Affairs PO Box 6100 Parliament House Canberra ACT 2600 Australia Phone: +61 2 6277 3515 Fax: +61 2 6277 5829 Email:community.affairs.sen@aph.gov.au http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committ...ub/bro_one.htm How to make a submission to a Senate Committee inquiry:- 1. A submission may be as short or as long as you like. It may contain facts, opinions, arguments or recommendations. It may cover all the points in the terms of reference or only some of them, depending on what interests you. Supporting documents may be attached. 2. There is no prescribed format. However, to make submissions most useful we suggest:* the terms of reference of the inquiry can be a good guide to structuring a submission;* if the submission is longer than a few pages, please include a summary at the front; and* submissions published on the Senate website will be converted to pdf format and, therefore, may have a different appearance to the document that was submitted. Sensitive material and confidential information should not be sent via email because it is not a secure medium. 3. If possible please provide submissions by email. Otherwise please type or write clearly in black ink on A4 paper. The preferred format is Microsoft Word but all submissions are considered regardless of their format or medium. 4. Inquiries from hearing and speech impaired people should be directed to the Parliament House TTY number (02) 6277 7799. Adobe also provides tools for the blind and visually impaired to access PDF documents. These tools are available at: http://access.adobe.com/. If you require any special arrangements in order to enable you to participate in a committee inquiry, please contact the committee secretary. 5. Make sure you sign the submission. E-mailed submissions must include your name, phone number and postal address so we can verify them. If it is the submission of an organisation, say so clearly. Show the signatory's position and say at what level the submission was authorised. 6. A submission to a committee becomes a committee document, and must not be disclosed to any other person until it has been released ('published') by the committee. Unless you have requested that the submission remain confidential, it is normally published after the committee has received and examined it and authorised its publication. Once a committee has authorised the release of a submission, subsequent publication of it is protected by parliamentary privilege (see below). The content of a submission may be published in another form or for another purpose before the submission is released by the committee, but this publication will not be protected by parliamentary privilege. 7. If you want your submission to be kept confidential, please say so clearly at the top or in a covering note. Say why you want it to be kept confidential. If you want part of the submission to be confidential, please put that part on a separate page(s). The committee will sympathetically consider requests for confidentiality, but cannot make promises in advance. If you have concerns about confidentiality, please discuss with the committee secretary before you make the submission. 8. If your submission 'reflects adversely' on another person (for example, accusing them of lying or corrupt behaviour), the committee will send the comment to the other person so they can reply. This applies even if the committee agrees to keep your submission confidential. 9. Making a submission is protected by parliamentary privilege. It is an offence for anyone to try to stop you from making a submission by threats or intimidation. It is an offence for anyone to harass you or discriminate against you because you have made a submission. The content of the submission is also protected but only after the committee has accepted it. This means that what you say in the submission, once the committee has accepted it, cannot be used in court against you or anyone else. More information is available in another brochure, entitled 'Procedures to be observed by Senate committees for the protection of witnesses'. 10. A committee may reject a submission that is not relevant to its inquiry. In that case the content of the submission is not protected by parliamentary privilege. 11. If you make a submission, the committee may invite you to give evidence at a public hearing. 12. For more information contact the Senior Clerk of Committees, phone (02) 6277 3506, fax: (02) 6277 3899, em: seniorclerk.committees.sen@aph.gov.au or the relevant committee secretary. If not for you, for your daughters, wives, sisters, friends, cousins, work colleagues, aunties, neighbours and women far across this wide brown land - let our government know that it's OUR BODIES, OUR BIRTHS, OUR RIGHTS, OUR CHOICE.

A Pictorial Update

2009-07-05T23:17:00.004+08:00

Rhiannon is here and she's slotted right into the chaotic house of 6. She's happy to just hang out with mama, and spends 99.9% of her day in arms. Her brothers adore her and spend far too much time hassling me to get cuddles with her.

William had a go at Auskick, he made it to one game... he's just not that into it. We figure he'll let us know when he's ready, if ever, and for now he's preferring to concentrate on being a scientist.

Lochlain is crusing along, he's 4 this month and is an absolute treasure of a big brother to Rhiannon and Tristan. Such a gentle soul.

Tristan, the little bully boofhead. He's small, but he's dynamite this one. You can't turn your back on him for a minute, careful now - he's out to destroy the world.

I'm a busy mama of four these days... so I hope this tides you over for a bit.

Love to all and merry Winter days.

x B

The Homebirth of Our Wee Rhiannon

2009-07-05T22:59:00.004+08:00

Monday morning around 3am I wake suddenly. Staring at the ceiling, wondering why my brain is suddenly alert. I can hear DH snoring across the hall, I can hear the heating vent creak. I hear the skylight in the toilet banging. But there’s no reason for me to wake suddenly. I lay there, Tristan breathing next to me. I roll off my side and begin to feel that dull ache across my back and through my cervix. Ahhh, so that’s what woke me. I get up to go to the toilet, and another ache rolls across my back, the cold draft from the skylight bugs me. I’m completely awake and the thought of laying down again makes me feel nauseous, so I light the candles in the lounge room and wrap myself in a blanket while I sit and stare at the wall. I feel a bit giddy, and the rolling ache comes and goes. I begin to nod off on the couch and catch myself wondering if it’s worth timing the sensations. As I lay down, I realise I can’t actually sleep during the peak of the rolling, but in between I am napping, believing that today is the beginning of a big task. By 4.30am I am convinced it’s going to continue, I figure they’re coming in waves about 10 minutes apart and I can’t say they’re particularly gentle. I feel jagged on the inside. I get up go to the toilet again and I feel my plug move down and out of me, it had been slowly coming away in the weeks previous, but now there is no mistaking what I have in my hands. Grinning at myself. At 6am I sms doula and mw, just letting them now I feel the beginning of something, and reminding them that I am a slow starter. My doula rings me later that morning, I’m pacing the house and getting frustrated that the sensations aren’t changing, they’re just sharp and seem to be moving further apart. DH has the day off, it’s a public holiday, I warn him that something is happening and that I’m feeling fragile, and he takes the boys into the shed to ‘build stuff’ and manages to distract them for most of the day in there while I pace the house. My doula decided to come down and give me a hand, knowing that I was really fractious and volatile. The sensations were backing off, and leaving me confused. Some really hurt, others didn’t. I knew it was all working towards a higher purpose, but believing that I could have days and days of this to come was playing with my head. My doula loved me, nourished me. She committed to staying the night, believing that once the kids were in bed, things might change. She organised getting the pool blown up. She set up my space with help from the boys. We eat take away on the front lawn and watch a storm roll in. We watch a movie,. I feel strange in myself. I’m not quite sure where I feel comfortable and I’m nesting all over the house. We go to bed late in the end. And there is nothing happening. Not a twinge. Not a twang. I’m feeling lost. I wake in the morning to a busy house. DH leaves for work and MIL arrives to take William to school. Melissa helps me get breakfast and after the house settles again when the morning rush is over, she showers and I vacuum, like a crazy woman. I clean the lounge room, I vacuum the house. Melissa emerges from the shower and I sit on the lounge room floor and have a tantrum. It was a good one. I threw toys. I cried. I can’t do days more of this. I am exhausted. I am in pain. My body aches. My bones hurt. My head hurts. I’m terrified of things going on any longer, because I fear what I might resolve to do. Melissa listens, the little boys listen. I cry. Melissa asks me what I want to do. I need sun, I need air. Let’s go for a walk at the marina. We get down there, and it hurts to walk, so we go get a juice and sit, then leave soon after. I feel like a freakshow exhibit. I feel enormous and hideous and far too obviously pregnant. Melissa has clients for the afternoon, and decides to keep her appointments and lets me know that if I need her tonight, it has to be after 10.30pm. I agree to that. I think she’s mad. I’m never going to have a baby. It’s all a fucking myth. I get in the car and I cry, Tristan and Lochlain fall asleep on the way home, so I grab something to eat and lay them on the couches. A friend had dropped off a copy of ‘Birth As We Know It’ over the weekend, and I’d been putting off watching it. But now that the house was silent, it seemed like as good a time as any. I sat on the couch with the phone, watching this film, and in my hand I had a piece of paper with Andrew’s work number, the midwife’s phone number and King Edward’s phone number on it. I was at the end point. I needed help. I needed to have a baby before my back broke with the pressure, before I became an even worse parent than I felt. The boys woke from their naps together, I fed Tristan while Loch lay his head in my lap, and the phone rings. It’s Andrew. He’s on his way home. Why? He’d thrown up at work. Great. He gets home about 45 minutes later, and he lay on the couch moaning for a couple of hours. His parents dropped William off after picking him up from school, and Andrew volunteers me to cook dinner for everyone. I want to hurt him. His parents agree to stay, and I cook a giant chicken stirfry. They bug me through dinner, asking if I feel like it’s going to be anytime soon. No. There is no baby. They do my dishes and get the kids in their pyjamas, Andrew is in the shower, he doesn’t eat dinner, he goes to bed, he looks green. Andrew’s parents leave, William falls asleep on the couch and I tell Lochlain and Tristan it’s time for bed. Lochlain climbs in with Andrew and I take Tristan into my bed. It’s about 8.30pm I hear Andrew get in the shower again, and I hear him vomiting, fair enough, now I’ll have a fucking baby. I roll over, and I feel a *pop*. I wait for the gush. There is no gush. Where is the gush? I get up to pee, still no gush. What the hell was the pop then? I lift William off the couch to put him to bed, there’s the small trickle. Aha! I contemplate going to bed. It’s after 9pm now and the house is silent. I might just enjoy myself for a bit. Andrew is back in bed. I soon start noticing that sharp sensation again in my hips. I get the ball and bounce in front of Andrew’s computer, leaning on the edge of the pool sometimes. I’m finding I can’t sit for long. I try chatting to Jo/Sirius. I let her know something is happening. I begin taking note of the times the sensations are happening... 8 minutes apart, 7 minutes apart, 6 minutes apart... ok they’re getting closer and they’re hurting. I can’t sit here. Talk to you later. By 11pm I have texted Melissa to get sleep. By 11.20pm I am ringing her telling her to get her arse down here. I’d gone in to DH asking him to help me. He’d put his hand on my back and he was cold and clammy and his stomach gurgled. He looked at me and his skin was a yellow/green colour. He apologised and said he couldn’t move, as he shook with chills. I’d come back out to the kitchen to ring Melissa and noticed that the sharp feeling was more frequent. I messaged my midwife, asking when I should call her, and she just said when I was ready. I busied myself while I waited for Melissa, I gathered blankets for the baby and towels, and gripped the bench often. Planting my feet solidly on the floor, not believing this was going to be quick. Melissa arrived, she helped me with grounding myself. She got my drinks sorted out. I bounced/rocked on the ball between the rushes and stood at the bench holding her hands tight during them. It hurts in my back. I don’t like this. Back pain is not my thing. Get these pants off me. At some point she asked me if I wanted my midwife, yes. I hear her talking, I hear my midwife says she’s on her way. From one contraction to the next, the pain moves from my back, to my front. Suddenly the sharpness is in my pubic bone. I can cope MUCH better with this. It’s easier to hold out hope of surviving without splitting in two. I stay at the bench. Bouncing/rocking. Standing and roaring. The house is oblivious. I’ve shut the hallway door. My midwife arrives, she asks me if I want to have my baby in the water. No, the idea makes me feel nauseous. Right, she’ll fill the pool she winks. More contracting, I feel the splitting, sharp tearing sensations in my cervix. At some point the backup midwife arrived. I didn’t hear her. I hear Andrew get in the shower again. I hear my midwife ask if I want to get in the water now. I am already on my way into the lounge. Stripping off as I walk. Emma says it’s too hot. I say I don’t fucking care and get in. It’s too cold. More hot please. I’m on my back, I put pressure on my own hips as the contractions get further apart but far more intense. The splitting pressure builds and there’s no release. The candle light is pissing me off. Get rid of it. Melissa. Get that clock off the wall. Put it outside. That ticking is too loud. The contractions stop and change. The baby moves, and wriggles and moves more. Make it stop. It’s making me feel sick. It’s moving and kicking. Make it stop. Suddenly, I feel the sensations change. I grunt. Nope, I don’t want to push yet. It’s too early. No. I don’t want to do this bit. I push again. No. And again. No. Next one, I don’t get a choice, I am pushing and it’s hard work. Melissa wanders off to get Andrew and the boys. I push and push and push. There’s my men. I have a head, it’s almost out. It’s nearly there. Sally tells me it’s a caul baby. Clunk. Push, no movement. Splitting pain across the pubic bone. Sally, help me. I can’t get it to move. The head moves back in. NO! Sally tells me the head is gone. I blow through the next contraction I want to save up the energy. I feel the baby turning, spinning, the head on my perineum. Sally tells me she can see the baby turning. I breathe and then push. I roar. The head moves down again and I ask for help. Sally reminds me to move to all fours. I throw my legs back and lengthen my body. I feel something slip inside me. The head births, and Sally reminds me to bring my knees right up on the next push. Knees up, push. It’s still really hard work, Sally tells me she’s not going to help me but she’s going to reach down. I feel her feeling the shoulders, they’re past the bone, they’re on the perineum and they come through on the next push. She supports the weight as the abdomen is birthed. I breathe and roll back over as she brings my baby earthside. I’m handed my baby, one hand behind its head, one hand between its legs. There’s nothing there. I feel again. It’s smooth. I look up. There’s my men. It’s a girl! It’s a what? It’s a girl! HOLY SHIT! The boys come closer to meet their sister. Andrew stays in the corner, in the chair, he’s still green. He smiles at me. Melissa grins. Emma emerges and grins too. Baby girl cries and we’re wrapped in a towel. I feel a push coming, and small clots coming through. I let Sally know. Then I push again, and I tell her that if that’s not the placenta we’re in trouble. It’s the placenta. Get me out of the pool. I’m cold. Andrew asks me if I am going to need the shower any time soon. No, I’m going to get warm on the couch first. He goes and gets back in the shower to vomit. I move to the couch, the boys crowding around to see the fresh baby. I’m piled with blankets and towels. Andrew comes back out to message his parents. I ring mine and Melissa plays with my feet to keep my body aware of being ‘here’. I’m fed. I have tea and toast. Lamingtons too. We chat and sit staring at this little girl. The placenta sits on the coffee table and Will investigates the cord. He’s fascinated by it. Emma leaves. Melissa begins to nap on the couch. I ask Sally to cut the cord so I can get the baby to my breast better. I offer Will the chance to cut it, but he doesn’t want to. Let’s weigh this baby. Sally lays her on the scales, then looks behind to see that no one is leaning on them, then checks again. Nope, that really does say 5.5kg. 12lb something. I shake Melissa, it’s a fucken 12lb baby. She blinks. And sits up. No way. I look at Sally. Yep. Cool. I want to shower, I feel great. I feel fine. I walk steadily, there’s no pain anywhere other than my tail bone. I shower and get in to bed. Sally checks for tears. Nothing. Not even a graze. No swelling. No bruising. I feel wicked. Time for a well earned rest.

Rhiannon Eleanor BORN AT HOME

Born 3rd June 2009 @ 4.14am

41 weeks and 5 days 12lb 2oz (5500g) 55cm long

37cm head circ

Rhiannon....Welcome Wee Lass

2009-07-04T18:12:00.005+08:00

We Love Homebirth

2009-07-04T18:10:00.000+08:00

~ we love homebirth ~

Art Attack in Late Pregnancy

2009-05-26T21:11:00.004+08:00

Thought I would share my latest creation before the more labour intensive one is available for viewing. I am currently 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant with baby #4.... and this is what came forth via the brush when asked to 'release and express' by my doula.

Twisted

2009-04-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

Want to see words I've written spat in my face years later... read this: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/a-home-birth-is-not-a-safe-birth-20090408-a0s3.html PTSD is real and I am suffering right now. Miranda, I can not fathom how you feel good about what you do. Rape is rape, regardless of the prize at the end of it. Grow a heart. Please.

Big Babies

2008-11-15T15:15:00.002+09:00

I got my story published here, it's advice and support for women who've birthed babies larger than 10lbs. You can find my story here: http://www.bigbaby.org.uk/big_baby_birth_stories__hospital_1.html Scroll down. Hope you're all keeping well. I'm too busy at the moment to blog much, but will update soon. Promise. Got a few projects hapenning ;-).

Beach Sun Sand Fun

2008-10-27T16:28:00.002+09:00

Wee Lad

2008-09-27T23:14:00.004+08:00

Life As We Know It

2008-09-25T00:11:00.002+08:00

A snapshot or three of life for us right now... a blooming garden, trinkets from afar, trips away and growing boys.

5 Reasons to Stop Saying 'Good Job!'

2008-09-18T22:12:00.002+08:00

By Alfie Kohn

NOTE: This article was published in Young Children, September 2001;and, in abridged form (with the title "Hooked on Praise"), in Parents Magazine, May 2000.

Hang out at a playground, visit a school, or show up at a child’s birthday party, and there’s one phrase you can count on hearing repeatedly: "Good job!" Even tiny infants are praised for smacking their hands together ("Good clapping!"). Many of us blurt out these judgments of our children to the point that it has become almost a verbal tic. Plenty of books and articles advise us against relying on punishment, from spanking to forcible isolation ("time out"). Occasionally someone will even ask us to rethink the practice of bribing children with stickers or food. But you’ll have to look awfully hard to find a discouraging word about what is euphemistically called positive reinforcement. Lest there be any misunderstanding, the point here is not to call into question the importance of supporting and encouraging children, the need to love them and hug them and help them feel good about themselves. Praise, however, is a different story entirely. Here's why.

1. Manipulating children. Suppose you offer a verbal reward to reinforce the behavior of a two-year-old who eats without spilling, or a five-year-old who cleans up her art supplies. Who benefits from this? Is it possible that telling kids they’ve done a good job may have less to do with their emotional needs than with our convenience? Rheta DeVries, a professor of education at the University of Northern Iowa, refers to this as "sugar-coated control." Very much like tangible rewards – or, for that matter, punishments – it’s a way of doing something to children to get them to comply with our wishes. It may be effective at producing this result (at least for a while), but it’s very different from working with kids – for example, by engaging them in conversation about what makes a classroom (or family) function smoothly, or how other people are affected by what we have done -- or failed to do. The latter approach is not only more respectful but more likely to help kids become thoughtful people. The reason praise can work in the short run is that young children are hungry for our approval. But we have a responsibility not to exploit that dependence for our own convenience. A "Good job!" to reinforce something that makes our lives a little easier can be an example of taking advantage of children’s dependence. Kids may also come to feel manipulated by this, even if they can’t quite explain why.

2. Creating praise junkies. To be sure, not every use of praise is a calculated tactic to control children’s behavior. Sometimes we compliment kids just because we’re genuinely pleased by what they’ve done. Even then, however, it’s worth looking more closely. Rather than bolstering a child’s self-esteem, praise may increase kids’ dependence on us. The more we say, "I like the way you…." or "Good ______ing," the more kids come to rely on our evaluations, our decisions about what’s good and bad, rather than learning to form their own judgments. It leads them to measure their worth in terms of what will lead us to smile and dole out some more approval. Mary Budd Rowe, a researcher at the University of Florida, discovered that students who were praised lavishly by their teachers were more tentative in their responses, more apt to answer in a questioning tone of voice ("Um, seven?"). They tended to back off from an idea they had proposed as soon as an adult disagreed with them. And they were less likely to persist with difficult tasks or share their ideas with other students.In short, "Good job!" doesn’t reassure children; ultimately, it makes them feel less secure. It may even create a vicious circle such that the more we slather on the praise, the more kids seem to need it, so we praise them some more. Sadly, some of these kids will grow into adults who continue to need someone else to pat them on the head and tell them whether what they did was OK. Surely this is not what we want for our daughters and sons.

3. Stealing a child’s pleasure. Apart from the issue of dependence, a child deserves to take delight in her accomplishments, to feel pride in what she’s learned how to do. She also deserves to decide when to feel that way. Every time we say, "Good job!", though, we’re telling a child how to feel. To be sure, there are times when our evaluations are appropriate and our guidance is necessary -- especially with toddlers and preschoolers. But a constant stream of value judgments is neither necessary nor useful for children’s development. Unfortunately, we may not have realized that "Good job!" is just as much an evaluation as "Bad job!" The most notable feature of a positive judgment isn’t that it’s positive, but that it’s a judgment. And people, including kids, don’t like being judged.I cherish the occasions when my daughter manages to do something for the first time, or does something better than she’s ever done it before. But I try to resist the knee-jerk tendency to say, "Good job!" because I don’t want to dilute her joy. I want her to share her pleasure with me, not look to me for a verdict. I want her to exclaim, "I did it!" (which she often does) instead of asking me uncertainly, "Was that good?"

4. Losing interest. "Good painting!" may get children to keep painting for as long as we keep watching and praising. But, warns Lilian Katz, one of the country’s leading authorities on early childhood education, "once attention is withdrawn, many kids won’t touch the activity again." Indeed, an impressive body of scientific research has shown that the more we reward people for doing something, the more they tend to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward. Now the point isn’t to draw, to read, to think, to create – the point is to get the goody, whether it’s an ice cream, a sticker, or a "Good job!"In a troubling study conducted by Joan Grusec at the University of Toronto, young children who were frequently praised for displays of generosity tended to be slightly less generous on an everyday basis than other children were. Every time they had heard "Good sharing!" or "I’m so proud of you for helping," they became a little less interested in sharing or helping. Those actions came to be seen not as something valuable in their own right but as something they had to do to get that reaction again from an adult. Generosity became a means to an end.Does praise motivate kids? Sure. It motivates kids to get praise. Alas, that’s often at the expense of commitment to whatever they were doing that prompted the praise.

5. Reducing achievement. As if it weren’t bad enough that "Good job!" can undermine independence, pleasure, and interest, it can also interfere with how good a job children actually do. Researchers keep finding that kids who are praised for doing well at a creative task tend to stumble at the next task – and they don’t do as well as children who weren’t praised to begin with. Why does this happen? Partly because the praise creates pressure to "keep up the good work" that gets in the way of doing so. Partly because their interest in what they’re doing may have declined. Partly because they become less likely to take risks – a prerequisite for creativity – once they start thinking about how to keep those positive comments coming. More generally, "Good job!" is a remnant of an approach to psychology that reduces all of human life to behaviors that can be seen and measured. Unfortunately, this ignores the thoughts, feelings, and values that lie behind behaviors. For example, a child may share a snack with a friend as a way of attracting praise, or as a way of making sure the other child has enough to eat. Praise for sharing ignores these different motives. Worse, it actually promotes the less desirable motive by making children more likely to fish for praise in the future. *Once you start to see praise for what it is – and what it does – these constant little evaluative eruptions from adults start to produce the same effect as fingernails being dragged down a blackboard. You begin to root for a child to give his teachers or parents a taste of their own treacle by turning around to them and saying (in the same saccharine tone of voice), "Good praising!" Still, it’s not an easy habit to break. It can seem strange, at least at first, to stop praising; it can feel as though you’re being chilly or withholding something. But that, it soon becomes clear, suggests that we praise more because we need to say it than because children need to hear it. Whenever that’s true, it’s time to rethink what we’re doing.

What kids do need is unconditional support, love with no strings attached. That’s not just different from praise – it’s the opposite of praise. "Good job!" is conditional. It means we’re offering attention and acknowledgement and approval for jumping through our hoops, for doing things that please us. This point, you’ll notice, is very different from a criticism that some people offer to the effect that we give kids too much approval, or give it too easily. They recommend that we become more miserly with our praise and demand that kids "earn" it. But the real problem isn’t that children expect to be praised for everything they do these days. It’s that we’re tempted to take shortcuts, to manipulate kids with rewards instead of explaining and helping them to develop needed skills and good values.

So what’s the alternative? That depends on the situation, but whatever we decide to say instead has to be offered in the context of genuine affection and love for who kids are rather than for what they’ve done. When unconditional support is present, "Good job!" isn’t necessary; when it’s absent, "Good job!" won’t help. If we’re praising positive actions as a way of discouraging misbehavior, this is unlikely to be effective for long. Even when it works, we can’t really say the child is now "behaving himself"; it would be more accurate to say the praise is behaving him. The alternative is to work with the child, to figure out the reasons he’s acting that way. We may have to reconsider our own requests rather than just looking for a way to get kids to obey. (Instead of using "Good job!" to get a four-year-old to sit quietly through a long class meeting or family dinner, perhaps we should ask whether it’s reasonable to expect a child to do so.) We also need to bring kids in on the process of making decisions. If a child is doing something that disturbs others, then sitting down with her later and asking, "What do you think we can do to solve this problem?" will likely be more effective than bribes or threats. It also helps a child learn how to solve problems and teaches that her ideas and feelings are important. Of course, this process takes time and talent, care and courage. Tossing off a "Good job!" when the child acts in the way we deem appropriate takes none of those things, which helps to explain why "doing to" strategies are a lot more popular than "working with" strategies. And what can we say when kids just do something impressive? Consider three possible responses:* Say nothing. Some people insist a helpful act must be "reinforced" because, secretly or unconsciously, they believe it was a fluke. If children are basically evil, then they have to be given an artificial reason for being nice (namely, to get a verbal reward). But if that cynicism is unfounded – and a lot of research suggests that it is – then praise may not be necessary.* Say what you saw. A simple, evaluation-free statement ("You put your shoes on by yourself" or even just "You did it") tells your child that you noticed. It also lets her take pride in what she did. In other cases, a more elaborate description may make sense. If your child draws a picture, you might provide feedback – not judgment – about what you noticed: "This mountain is huge!" "Boy, you sure used a lot of purple today!"If a child does something caring or generous, you might gently draw his attention to the effect of his action on the other person: "Look at Abigail’s face! She seems pretty happy now that you gave her some of your snack." This is completely different from praise, where the emphasis is on how you feel about her sharing.* Talk less, ask more. Even better than descriptions are questions. Why tell him what part of his drawing impressed you when you can ask him what he likes best about it? Asking "What was the hardest part to draw?" or "How did you figure out how to make the feet the right size?" is likely to nourish his interest in drawing. Saying "Good job!", as we’ve seen, may have exactly the opposite effect. This doesn’t mean that all compliments, all thank-you’s, all expressions of delight are harmful. We need to consider our motives for what we say (a genuine expression of enthusiasm is better than a desire to manipulate the child’s future behavior) as well as the actual effects of doing so. Are our reactions helping the child to feel a sense of control over her life -- or to constantly look to us for approval? Are they helping her to become more excited about what she’s doing in its own right – or turning it into something she just wants to get through in order to receive a pat on the head? It’s not a matter of memorizing a new script, but of keeping in mind our long-term goals for our children and watching for the effects of what we say. The bad news is that the use of positive reinforcement really isn’t so positive. The good news is that you don’t have to evaluate in order to encourage.

Copyright © 2001 by Alfie Kohn. This article may be downloaded, reproduced, and distributed without permission as long as each copy includes this notice along with citation information (i.e., name of the periodical in which it originally appeared, date of publication, and author's name). Permission must be obtained in order to reprint this article in a published work or in order to offer it for sale in any form. Please write to the address indicated on the Contact page at www.alfiekohn.org.

The Story of Stuff

2008-09-16T22:15:00.001+08:00

From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

Find out more at The Story of Stuff.

The Other Side of the Glass

2008-09-13T14:41:00.002+08:00

Finally, A Birth Film For Fathers.

This is a ten minute YouTube version of the fund raising video for the film, "The Other Side of the Glass. "An 18 minute version, the Introduction, is available on my blog, Hospital Birth Debate for a donation of $15 or more. The complete fund raiser trailer is an 18 minute INTRODUCTION that expands upon the information presented in this trailer. It will provide the basic information men and women need to have to make birth safer -- wherever they give birth. It is designed for women and men to present to their caregiver -- midwife, nurse, or doctor; and for childbirth educators, midwives and doctors to show to expectant men and women. The 18 minute Introduction will be the beginning of the final long-version film. The final full-length film will provide the entire story with experts sharing their knowledge and science to support the premise of the film: Babies are fully conscious, fathers are disempowered by the medical machine but can become empowered with this information to protect their babies during birth. Finally, and significantly, most of us were born surrounded by people who had no clue about how aware and feeling we were. This trailer triggers a lot of emotions for people if they have not considered the baby's needs and were not considered as a baby. The final film will include detailed and profound information about the science-based, cutting-edge therapies for healing birth trauma.

National Caesarean Awareness Day

2008-09-11T15:39:00.002+08:00

Wishing love and healing to all those affected by caesarean.

Camping, Fishing, Footy and Lads

2008-09-10T15:38:00.005+08:00

Figures Mask True Pregnancy Death Rate

2008-09-08T19:16:00.002+08:00

From the Sydney Morning Herald

THE number of women who die as a consequence of pregnancy or childbirth may be nearly twice as high as shown in official figures, which capture only one-third of suicides in the year after giving birth, according to NSW analysis that reveals the true toll of post-natal depression. Suicide was the leading cause of death between six weeks and a year after giving birth or having a termination, followed by violence and heart attacks, according to an examination by researchers from the University of NSW of a seven-year period ending in 2001. Each of the 76 deaths during the period was classified as being probably linked - either directly or indirectly - to the recent pregnancy."Many of these deaths were among vulnerable women post-pregnancy and are an important group of often preventable deaths," said the leader of the study, Elizabeth Sullivan, from the University's National Perinatal Statistics Unit. Official statistics only link death with recent pregnancy if it occurs within six weeks of the pregnancy ending - the point at which women are usually discharged from formal maternity services, Associate Professor Sullivan wrote in the Australian And New Zealand Journal Of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. Her findings showed monitoring should continue beyond the six-week period, "in recognition of the ability of modern medical care to delay death following severe complications and of the importance of deaths from mental illness in the year following pregnancy and childbirth". She matched state death records against records of new mothers and found 23 suicides that occurred after six weeks. In addition to the 76 who died later in the first year, Associate Professor Sullivan found 97 died within six weeks of their pregnancy ending, including 15 who had not been previously recorded in the state's maternal death statistics - probably because doctors did not mention the recent pregnancy on death certificates. James King, an obstetrician and a past chairman of the National Advisory Committee on Maternal Mortality, said the NSW analysis highlighted inadequacies in Australia's system for recording pregnancy-related deaths. Professor King said the change in the demographic profile of mothers - who were now more likely to be older, overweight and to have a caesarean section than previous generations - meant accurate surveillance of death and serious ill health was essential. The current system of compiling inconsistent state records into a national report was unreliable. Monitoring of pregnancy-related deaths has been the responsibility of federal health department agencies, and its future funding is uncertain. In a preface to the most recent national report on the issue, the director of the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Penny Allbon, wrote that it was "concerning that no resources have been identified to sustain and improve this reporting in the future". A professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at the Australian National University and president of Women's Hospitals Australasia, David Ellwood, said accurate reporting would require statutory powers for investigators to request medical records from state health departments, to independently assess the cause of death.

Technology - For Better or For Worse?

2008-09-07T22:52:00.002+08:00

Thanks Hathor, for saying what I wish I could say so eloquently without ranting.

Celebrations of Dad

2008-09-07T20:13:00.004+08:00

This is my Dad. This photo was taken the week he became a Poppy. He became a dad nearly 25 years ago now.

Being my dad, we've had our moments. I am shamelessly known as a Daddy's Girl, but I have become my own woman in more recent years. He's home for the week, and spent Father's day with his youngest kids, and I felt a pang of jealousy, I think it's because I haven't seen him since January. No doubt when we do catch up we'll argue, and bicker, and laugh, and poke fun at each other, I'll mention his trucker gut, and he'll mention my arse. Grumpy bear, that's my Da. My own husband, he's celebrating Father's Day with his own father, and has taken the two big lads camping. They've gone to Yanchep (as I'd guessed they would). Tents, torches, and the new OOT (ute). Uncle Simon has joined them, with Taffleen. Grandad looked excited at the chance to get the boys out in the bush again, I bet they're having an absolute blast. How could time away with this bloke be anything but? It's last days for Fleen as an only child. Col is booked to have her baby this Tuesday, and I am guessing she's using this last moment of peace to catch her breath before the newborn crazy days. Dad's don't understand it, but they know it means something to us to be left in calm before the storm. So a day for Dads. Happy Father's Day you lot. From me and the boys.

Yawn - late night babble

2008-09-06T23:17:00.003+08:00

It's been so long since I've really updated, it's late night here and I am pretty tired, but I'll give a brief run down of the last couple of months here. Today is the state election here, I did my bit and voted with all three kids hanging off me screaming. Was most fun. Was even more fun when Will nearly headbutted the Christian Democrats woman for trying to hand him a 'how to vote' sheet. Stifling the giggle was hard, she was asking for it. Kate and Ava stopped by for a night sometime back in July. Was great for the boys to spend time with their cousin, we don't get to see enough of her (are you reading this Kate?? Move closer would you!!). I changed jobs in June, still with the same agency, just a different portfolio, and I am now in town and working 2 days a week. It's a good seachange kind of thing. I like the work that I do, it's something that challenges me. I have to admit I am still learning about how to keep the domestic/career balance though and some days I do feel like either one or the other is weighing too heavily on the other. It is a shift that will allow for further flexibility in the future though, especially with being more selective about what days I work, and my hours are flexi, so the morning rush is relatively stress free without having a set start time. It's nice to know that the earlier I start the earlier I finish too! July came to a close with Tristan and Lochlain's birthdays. Sadly, Lochlain was really very unwell, and we didn't do much celebrating. Andrew's mum and dad left for overseas the day before, and I took him to the St Kilda vs West Coast footy game, he was pretty over it before half time so we trekked home on the train together. Big Brooke had Tristan and Will for a few hours so that Lolo and I could have some time together at the footy. Loch was sick for about 2 weeks with a nasty fever/rash/burst blood vessels in eyes thing, and then his skin started peeling. He's battled through it though. Was a bit scary for a while. Once he come good we had a good run of long days at the park and the beach, and the sun shone on for us, bringing us out of the depths of the winter blues. Tristan has discovered the most giant sandpit in the world, the beach. He's in love with it. Will is becoming more brave with the waves, and spends enough time in the water even when it's freezing that even I want to turn blue. Lochlain isn't too sure on the surf just yet, but he's keen to give it a go. Not bad for a kid who wouldn't walk on sand once upon a time. Mum stopped by in August a couple of times, she stayed here for a night. Was nice. We went out for dinner, and she came along to Will's kindy for drop off and he got to show her his special place. We went out for brekky at the marina and enjoyed coffee and laughs, it was really nice to just have a relaxed moment with mum, sometimes it feels like we miss out on the placid moments with each other. Crisis/illness/drama has no place in my life right now, and it was nice to just hang out with my mama. Tony was over east visiting his parents, so I got to selfishly have her all to myself. An overnight stay in Mandurah with Vic and the kids while Dad was away in Hedland was fantastic. The kids had a blast, and I enjoyed seeing them get dirty again, going home and putting their feet on the ground. It doesn't hurt that Vic always spoils me rotten with bloody good food! Mmmm green curry mmmmmmmmm *drool*. Lochlain hung off Rose the whole time we were there, wanting to do everything with her. Michael and Will play great together, they're both at an age now where they don't clash as much over who owns what, or who uses what, or the whole turn taking crap. It was great to see them just being mates. I am recovered (well 95%) from the most awful flu I have had in years. I spent nearly 2 weeks on the couch in the end. A good week of that saw me wishing I was dead. Throat made of razor blades, chills, shakes, aches, cramps, headaches, and just that general 'kill me now' sentiment. Bloody horrid. I am still fighting a lingering sinus infection, but I would take that any day over what I've just been through. With all the coughing that I did however, I have come to realise that I still have a pretty ace pelvic floor ;), who'd have thought it! In amongst sick kids, sick mama, changing jobs and having people drop by to stay, we've all managed to stay pretty sane. Andrew hasn't come up for air yet with work, but is looking forward to father's day tomorrow and spending some time with his dad and his boys. I dare say they'll go to Yanchep for a bit. I will try and get some photos loaded up soon, but as it is, I am just too tired tonight. I am going to hit the hay and snuggle my *not baby* Twistie. He smells so good. He'll feed and doze with me all night, and we'll be woken in the morning by two little men climbing in next to me to wake up their Twistie baby. *YAWN* Night night all.... stay safe, stay sane. x B

Fall Asleep Anywhere

2008-08-21T21:43:00.004+08:00

On the washing pile.... mmm clean laundry Counting out your pieces of fruit.

Hiding on Dad's office chair over in the corner taking a quick kip. Outside on the back of the futon. A cat in a previous life.

These photos are proof that children who cosleep do, in fact, sleep when they are tired, and don't 'need' to be put to bed. I love that my kids know they're own tired cues, and can find themselves a comfy spot and take a kip. It reassures me that they're following their own natural rythms and the sleep association they have is a postive one.

No authoriatrian bedtime bullshit in my house thanks!

Relative Risks of Uterine Rupture

2008-06-17T11:28:00.003+08:00

Written by Eileen Sullivan, with assistance from her husband, Patrick.

From www.gentlebirth.org

Your risk of dying in a car accident, over the course of your lifetime, is between 1 in 42 and 1 in 75. This is roughly 4 to 5 times greater than the risk of uterine rupture. You're about twice as likely to have your car stolen (that's an annual risk) than to experience a uterine rupture. Your odds of being murdered are 1 in 140 over the course of your lifetime. That's 2 times more likely than the risk of rupture. The annual risk of having a heart attack is 1 in 160, 2 times more likely than rupture. Your risk of dying from heart disease is roughly 1 in 6, or 55 times greater than your risk of rupture. If you're a smoker, your risk of dying from lung cancer is 1 and a half times more likely than a VBAC mom rupturing during her labor. You're about 17 times more likely to contract an STD this year than you are to have a uterine rupture; more likely to contract gonorrhea than to rupture, as well. You're 13 times more likely to get food poisoning than to rupture. You're more likely to have twins than a uterine rupture. Odds of twins: 1 in 90. That's about 3 1/2 times the likelihood of rupture. If you ride horseback, you're 3 times more likely to die in a riding accident than you are to experience a uterine rupture. If you ride a bike on the street, you are 4 times more likely to die in an accident (annual risk) than you are to suffer a rupture. Having a serious fire in your home during the next year is twice as likely as experiencing a rupture. You're ten times as likely to win at roulette as you are to have a uterine rupture. If you flip a coin, you'll be more likely to get heads (or tails) 8 times in a row than to rupture. The risk of cord prolapse is 1 in 37 (2.7%), or nearly ten times more likely than that of rupture. And a final irony (heads up, those of you who want a doc to give his/her opinion on your likelihood of rupture next pregnancy!)... You're 6 times more likely to have a doctor who is an impostor than you are to suffer a rupture. Two percent of docs are phonies (1 in 50), according to several sources I found. So instead of worrying about rupture, why not take a few minutes to check up on your doctor's credentials? It'd be a more profitable use of your time, and a substantially more likely cause for alarm.

Winter Warmer

2008-06-17T10:06:00.006+08:00

Our dude Lolo. Again with the tattooing himself. He is being a Wiggle in this photo (note the daggy skivvy). He turns 3 next month, and his vocabulary has just exploded. We are now getting 2 words strung together, and he's using far less gestures now, relying more and more on speech to communicate which is just AWESOME! He is still really hard to understand, but Andrew and I get what he's on about most of the time. He loves to sing, hums away most of the day. It's so cute. Little man Twistie, isn't he getting so big? Here he sports a lovely pair of handmade knitted legwarmers from the lovely April in Warnambool. Thanks wonderwoman!! He's got 4 teeth (cos that's important ya know), and is still cruising the furniture, not quite game enough to venture out walking on his own yet. He won't be far off though.

Willum was so excited about his new pink slippers with the sparkly butterflies! His pink brolly makes the perfect accessory for this season. Pink is his favourite colour, in case you couldn't tell.

He is loving Kindy and keeps telling me that when he turns 5 he'll get his hair cut and then have Christmas and then go to Pre-Primary. He's got his life mapped out, haha!

I am going to take them to Mum's in the next school holidays. Spend a few days up there, enjoy the break from the city traffic.

We have a couple of birthdays to prepare for, and I think we are planning a BBQ for Tristan and a morning at AQWA for Lochlain. We'll see how it all goes though, as Andrew can't take time off work, so everything needs to happen on a Sunday.

Heading down to Dad's this weekend to pick up a new car. I will post pics of it when I get it!!

Right, off to stop them from killing each other.

Deep breath. xxxOOOxxx

The Trouble With White Pants

2008-06-13T16:13:00.002+08:00

The Trouble With White Pants:

Medicalisation and Agency in the Context of Menstrual Suppression.

- Jessica Shipman Gunson

See here for full text: Link

The Wonderful Place

2008-06-06T14:42:00.003+08:00

The Wonderful Place - Chrissy Butler

from Chrissy's blog:

The Wonderful Place is a picture book which celebrates the joys of toddler breastfeeding, seen through the eyes of 3 year old Jimi Jazz. The artwork is ink, water colour and collage on paper. Prints can be ordered of any of the artwork, please contact me at sales@chrissybutler.com for more information about prints or orginal artwork from the book.

Spunk Monkeys

2008-06-03T09:43:00.005+08:00

Just showing off my lads. We've had a long weekend here, and they've loved having their daddy home for a bit. Lochlain is really missing him during the week, after being so used to having him home more often. Tristan is cutting another top tooth, but you'd never guess it. He just cruises on, never blinks an eye, just grows and changes with such ease. If everybody had babies like him, the world would be more than overpopulated, it'd be bursting at the seams. He is such a little champ. Not that the other two aren't awesome, but they've presented us with their own unique challenges in their time, and so far... we've just not had anything from Tristan that I would have considered challenging. Lets hope I am not made to eat my words hey!

Where is the Desire to Learn?

2008-05-29T15:09:00.004+08:00

Had an interesting experience a couple of weeks back that I have to share. I don't know how much I can say with regard to specifics and the questions asked, but I'll share with you something that really rocked my sense of trust in the midwifery qualification. I sat on an examination panel as a consumer representative (as a representative of Birthrites: Healing After Caesarean), for the local university on Tuesday. The students were the post graduate diploma of midwifery students, all of whom are already nurses, and have already studied at a tertiary level for a number of years. I responded to a call for someone to attend from the convenor, and was happy to put the kids into care for the day for the opportunity to have something else to put on my eventual portfolio when applying for either the BMid or the BNurs/BMid... it's all very selfish really. The university had obviously requested consumer reps from a couple of groups, as when I arrived, I met with a fellow activist, who is active with Maternity Coalition here.

But anyway... this examination was something that the students were given 6 weeks to prepare for. And from what I could gather, as someone who is not even educated in Midwifery, it was a very basic knowledge that was called upon in response to the questions asked. But for the most part, the students could not even offer this.

4 months into a post graduate midwifery degree and I can't believe how much they DON'T know. It was if they had read the lecture notes, and skimmed their text books, and that was it. They had done NO wider reading, had not sought out other midwives already practicing to talk about anything, had not contacted a singly consumer organisation, not read anything from a journal article, not researched or reviewed ANYTHING. I was appalled.

Bear in mind that these women (and they were all women) already have a degree in Nursing, they are all doing POST GRADUATE study, so I think it is fair to assume that a desire to learn should exist. Otherwise I don't see the point in enrolling in a university course... unless it's just the payrise they are after. Ever the cynic.

I was under the impression that a desire to study midwifery would involve some understanding of what STUDY is. Study is NOT being spoonfed information, it is not being told all that you need to know. Study is about learning for ones self, aquiring knowledge by 'desiring to learn'.

I will admit that I met at least 3 students who did impress me with their knowledge, their commitment to self education and stepping outside the square of the university. One had (to her credit) become a subscribing member of a number of consumer organisations, and had attended information sessions outside of the university timetable. But that was ONE in TEN. Highly disturbing to think that the women who are planning on supporting women and babies in the BIGGEST and MOST IMPORTANT moment in their lives are seemingly totally disinterested in really learning.

It left a sour taste in my mouth.

Unconditionality vs. Desires

2008-05-26T22:36:00.002+08:00

Ok I am not wanting to be guilty of regurgitating other people's writing but another one of Noelle's Daily Grooves struck me. I am still learning how to not blame, how to not blame my 'lack' on the actions of others. I am learning how to accept that those around me do not always have my interests at heart, for it is human nature to serve our purpose. In the society in which I live there is a great divide between what I want, what my partner wants, my friends and family also have their own wants. Our wants generally rely on the actions of others, actions over which we ourselves have no control. Without letting our desires be known to the other party we really have little hope of those desires being fulfilled.

It's all well and good to say "I will love him more if he does this" or "My life would be better if only he'd...", well I have to say. "I love him". That statement cannot have a condition imposed on it. I love him, and his actions reflect his love for me. It's up to me to decide whether what I am putting out is being reciprocated, but I cannot make my love conditional. I can only love. He is flesh made from me, but that's always going to be the case, regardless of the emotion I feel towards him at any moment. I love him as my child. I can be angry, sad, mad, happy, outraged, excited, impressed by him. But ultimately I own my emotions and he cannot be expected to be responsible for how I feel about him. I love him unconditionally.

Life is good. Life could be better. But right now. Life IS good. Accepting that right now, life is pretty sweet, it's as sweet as it gets having three little men worship me, a roof over my head, food in my cupboard and coffee at my desk. What I wish to improve I can work on, I am not limited by much that cannot be resolved if I choose to make it so. I am privileged. I am white. I am married. I am female. I still have scope to be the me I want to be, to have the life I want to have. All in good time. But right now. Life IS good. It's good without being dependent on any variable. Life flows. Whether I want it to or not, life flows.

But anyway, a ramble, a ramble. I want to share this daily groove with you all. And I want to have it saved as something to refer myself back to now and again. In the midst of day to day chaos it can be easy to lose touch with NOW.

Unconditionality vs. Desires

Q: How do you reconcile "unconditionality" with having preferences and desires? If you're totally unconditional, shouldn't everything be fine the way it is?

A: Unconditionality doesn't mean having no preferences or desires; it means that you don't let the temporary absence of your preferred conditions prevent you from enjoying the present moment... "When conditions are to my liking, I feel great! (Obviously.) And when conditions are not to my liking, I enjoy anticipating theunfolding of my preferred conditions." The idea that you can't enjoy this moment because of unwanted conditions is a LIE perpetuated by our conditional culture -- a lie that serves no purpose other than to keep people feeling powerless! Unconditionality says, "Enjoying the here and now is my top priority, so I'm not going to use these conditions as an excuse to separate from my natural state of well-being." So when your child "misbehaves," or your partner is unsupportive, or you're sleep-deprived, etc., use those unwanted conditions to help you clarify what you *do* want. Then practice unconditionality by accepting the present conditions AND joyfully anticipating the fulfillment of your desires.

I've Been Tagged

2008-05-24T21:42:00.002+08:00

Ive been tagged Barenest.

The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.Each player answers the questions about themselves.At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

a) What was I doing 10 years ago?

Hmm well 10 years ago it was 1998, so I would have been in Yr 10, my best year of High School, I was at Carine.

I was a Naval Reserve Cadet (*nerd alert*). And my baby sister would have been oh... 16 days old today! I was living with Dad and Vic and Shane and Lynnette!

I had just met Donna about 4 weeks ago, and we became instant besties. She rocked my world!

b) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today:

Well to be honest, today is almost over and it was a totally non productive day. I spent most of it boobing on the couch or washing kids or making food. My plans for tomorrow however -

* go to markets for fruit and veg shop

* mop lounge room

* have Will ready for kindy by the time he goes to bed, so I am not rushing like mad Monday morning

* spend some one on one time with Andrew.

* do the dishes

c) Snacks I enjoy:

Iced coffee, chocolate, dutch licorice. Especially the double salt and the salmiak.

d) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Fund homebirths for those who wanted them with independent midwives.

Buy a nice house down south somewhere, and work when I felt like it as an indie mw (once I am qualified).

Watch my kids grow up.

e) Places I have lived:

Tasmania, Queensland, WA, NT, NSW, Vic...

And who am I tagging?

No-one yet.

Happy Birthday Ted

2008-05-24T09:24:00.003+08:00

Andrew celebrated his birthday last night. We had delicious Thai take out (a massive splurge for us) and I had a cake for him, a gorgeous vanilla sponge that he likes.

We had dinner with his mate (Will's Kindy teacher) and he put together his new office chair.

I can't believe how old he is now. Old, old, old. 30 Just seems so far away for me, but knowing that he was younger than what I am now when we got together and that feels like yesterday, means that 30 really is closer than I want to believe.

I have been asked, through my capacity as a coregroup member of Birthrites to help out at the local uni next week, on Tuesday. I am sitting on a panel of examiners for the Post Graduate Midwifery students, part of their examination is short interviews on specific topics, and it's a pass/fail exercise. I am the consumer voice on the panel and I get to ask them questions relating to certain topics... I have to admit I am a little bit chuffed at this opportunity.

It's an all day ordeal though, so it's a day without the boys... but they cope well enough when I am at work, so I am sure they'll survive.

In other news, Will is recovering from yet another bout of croup. He's had to take a day off daycare and a day off Kindy. He was pretty unwell with it this time around, but like always, he's bounced back straight away. Not much down time for a kid on a mission.

I have enrolled in a full time load of units for a BSc (Nursing) degree for next semester. I am really excited now. Not nervous at all. Andrew started a new job three days ago, and the increase in pay that he gets means that I can really take time off working and just study to get myself headed in the right direction. It works out that the boys don't have to be in care for any more time than what they already are, which was a major concern for me, but it's turned out fantastically. I just need to sort out a couple of hours care on a Friday and we're sweet. I am allowing myself to be stoked about all this study and life plan stuff now. Now that I can see it's achievable and not going to be interrupted by me having any more children. Because that's NOT going to happen, thank you very much.

Apparently next year ECU are offering Nursing and Midwifery as a double degree, rather than a direct entry midwifery degree without the Nursing qualification as Curtin have done. I am going to look at applying, and moving across to completing the double qualification if I can.

Right... off to play trains with Will... and then to the beach for a rockpool walk.

Ciao x B

The Oxygen Mask Rule - Scott Noelle

2008-05-18T13:32:00.005+08:00

The Oxygen Mask Rule :: from THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove --> Flight attendants always remind parents that if the airplane's cabin loses pressure, you should apply *your* oxygen mask first, and then your child's. This is because a parent without oxygen is likely to pass out before getting the child's mask in place. Likewise, if you were stressed about some problem with your child, the conventional response would be to focus on "fixing" the child. But stressful states like fear, worry, anger, and resentment are like oxygen deprivation: they undermine your capacity to help your child. So remember to get *your* oxygen first, literally, by taking a deep breath and feeling for your Center. Once you're centered -- present, connected, "in the flow" -- you'll be more creative, and you'll emanate a "vibe" that your child will *want* to align with. Whenever parenting becomes stressful, stop and tell yourself, "I want to respond from my Heart, so I will take no action until I find my Center." http://dailygroove.net/oxygen Feel free to forward this message to your friends! Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

May... Mayhem... My Men!

2008-05-10T23:14:00.010+08:00

Well, it's MAY!! A month of birthdays.

Hippy bathday to Travis, Rose, Ron, Jackie, Andrew Uncle David, Aunty Maxine (R.I.P.) and anyone else I haven't thought to mention because it's late at night!

It's now term 2 of kindy, and for the two whole weeks that Will was on holidays he was adamant that I was deliberately keeping him from his precious kindy as some kind of obscure torture. He was in real pain, desperately in need of a kindy fix by the time term 2 started. He had a playdate with the kindy kids in the holidays, to satisfy his aching belly, but as it turned out, that same day was the beginning of a couple of rough weeks of illness in this house.

Lochlain and Tristan both got, at the same time, conjunctivitis, sinusitis, otitis media, tonsilitis and Tristan copped bronchialitis on top of that... so it's safe to say they have some upper respiratory immunity issues. Lochlain was really ill with it, his body does not cope with fever very productively and as much as I am one to let a fever rage if it needs to, sometimes you just have to intervene and say "Nah, this is a bit uncool". He has some drama with taking oral medication and the suppository options I had on hand were out of date, so it became a late night sojourn in the ED just to get some respite for him from his fever and get some fluids into him.

Will copped a bit of gastro, and so did I, but I am putting that down to dodgy food court chinese we'd snacked on in the city the day before. How embarassing, you know it's crap when you eat it, and you suffer for you sin that's for sure!

So it took about 2 weeks before the boys got right, Tristan still has a nasty lingering cough, but he seems well enough otherwise. Andrew and his dad both copped sore throats for a week or so, and they suffered with the dreaded 'man cold'. You know the one, it's about 3000 times stronger than the cold any woman or child gets. It must be, because the whinging that comes with it is 3000 times more annoying, I can assure you.

Managed to catch up with Mum and Tony last week... had a great quick lunch at the marina and a play in the sand. It was a lovely warm, humid day on the beach. The kids had a blast and it got me out of a funk after being stuck in the house with sickies for so long.

Last month I had some friends pop out some sproglets, so I am wanting to give a shout out to some beautiful babies... Jarrah, Nadia, Wiremu and Leo... all spunks, all born within 3 weeks of each other... 3 at home in water as planned... and wee Jarrah bought into this world a bit before his time but his mama birthed awesomely and he looks just as rockin' as the rest of the brood.

I finally caught up with their mamas yesterday, and got to sniff some newborn heads. Had a little cluck and quickly regained my senses. Googling hyperemeis is the best way to remind myself of my plan to have no more babies. Ick.

Will and Lochie went to watch the WAFL today... it's their normal footy season fun, WAFL on the weekends that the WCE don't have a home game, if we can help it and the weather is fine. They get all dolled up with their footy jumpers, and take their swannies ball out for a kick at half time with Grandad.

Tristan and I used the opportunity today to strip some more of the wallpaper border and run errands. Not fun, but productive, I grabbed some cheap wool and some seeds... I put calendula in the front garden along the fence, see how they go. I am not particularly known for my green thumb.

I am enrolling in a couple of Nursing units for next semester, just to keep the old brain ticking along, and to move a step closer to my midwifery qualification. It really still depends on Andrew's work stuff though... he's applied for a couple of jobs here and there, and if something good comes up, it's another 'wait and see' moment for me.

Anyhoo, here is some photos of the boys. Well the ones who sit still long enough to get shots taken.

Yes, that is Lochlain in the background cleaning the tiles with MY toothbrush. Little bugger. We have some photographers living here. They love to take pictures of each other and of Tristan and even Lochlain has taken to setting up shots, the same way Will does. I love going through some of the pictures they've taken that I haven't been aware of. It's awesome to be able see thier day through their eyes.

To The Detached Parents...

2008-05-06T11:58:00.006+08:00

I spy you, 'cross the room,

in a park or a shop,

perhaps a couple in daycare

or this your first shot.

Your baby - a sad face

staring out of the pram,

with a mouth full of plastic,

in blue or pink glam.

When babe starts to cry,

you rock pram back and forth.

Pick it up? I must not!

What would that enforce?

From bottle: the modified milk

of a beast.

Food - fresh from jars

complimenting the feast.

Baby is lucky to be held

while downing this gruel.

Much easier to prop -

there is shopping to do.

"My baby is on a schedule!"

is your famous line,

and so baby cries

until the "right time".

Against nature is this

the most terrible crime.

Now you have a child

of about two,

stuck behind bars and

enclosed in a zoo.

Child tied to your wrist,

you might go for a walk,

never let them explore

but always prompt them to talk.

By now babe has advanced

to crying it out.

Never answer their needs,

just make them shout.

Shout and scream

til they vomit; then sleep.

Exhausted, deflated

and spiritually weak.

For you must break that child,

their will and their might,

to establish control

and that you're always right.

All the while you ply them,

ply them with stuff.

Fill it up to the rafters 'til they

can't get enough.

For things must replace you -

too bad if that's rough.

Institution and poor care,

cause issues with health,

so you give them some medicine,

you bought from the shelf.

Then away they go again,

all symptoms masked.

And you can go on with

your other tasks.

I'm sure you weren't always

a bitch to your kid.

Maybe once you believed

(as I thought I did),

that others knew best

about what to do.

The difference between us is:

you bought while I grew.

Because parenting does not

come from a book,

(though sometimes they're

handy for an alternative look).

Discipline should not come from our parents

you know,

who screwed us up in the first place,

when it was their go.

You do not need to prove who

is running the show.

Care does not come from the

experts and clinics,

it comes from the heart

and delving deep in it.

Love comes from support,

a caring community around.

A partner with feet planted

firmly in ground.

And the women, and families,

that came before us,

who adapted to children

and knew just to trust.

Although sometimes we wander,

from what we know best,

we try, we move forward,

and that is the test.

In the hopes that our kids

while walking their path,

will see beauty and kindness

and have love in their heart.

Deep down they will know

that they belong,

As parents they'll improve,

naturally know what is wrong.

And that is the way that our

Earth will live on.

http://nurturedfolk.com/.

Blessings in Paper

2008-04-19T18:21:00.004+08:00

A simple doodle that became a card. It's just waiting for the baby to be born, so it can go with the gift I have set aside for "it's" mama. I hope she likes it. It felt good making it.

I think the mama is due in the next week or so, and I am starting to get really excited. Mmmm, fresh new baby smell, milky newborn grins.

This mama inspires me. I know she'll birth boldly with pure bliss.

~Kia Kaha~

Hearing Your Silence

2008-04-18T23:41:00.005+08:00

Hearing Your Silence

(For All Children with Childhood Apraxia of Speech) by Donald Robin, Ph.D., CCC-SLP

We don't understand when we hear your silence We cant see behind your frustrated eyes when you plead for our attention We are unable to feel your awkwardness when you try to speak and the wrong sounds emerge We cannot be inside you to will your tongue to move when it struggles to find the roof of your mouth We don't understand the fear that consumes you when you are on the playground when you should be having fun We are not privy to your brain that creates a world of words only to have your muscles stop their meaning We do not hear your mind communicating freely only to have us look quizzically and ask for repetition We cannot sense your joy at moments of clarity only to have it rapidly disappear again and again We do know who you are when you look into our eyes We can hold you tightly when your fists clench and tears fill your vision We will struggle with you each day and night when you practice your speech sounds with great deliberation We are proud of your trying when we might just give up We share with you your pain when your mouth is tired and slow You know that we will love you when you are little and when you grow You know that we will be there for you when all seems dark and cold You know that you are special and what you want to say You know you are our children and who you are each day You know your world is full and how to find the way You know we hear your silence You know, we hear your silence You know we hear your silence

Equality Wheel

2008-04-13T14:35:00.005+08:00

From Rob, Arnie and Dawn in the Morning.

Healthy Partners: Healthy Relationships

What makes a relationship healthy?

Two people who value and respect each other are a good start. Here are some characteristics you may want to consider in a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. He or she:

Supports your relationships with friends and family members.

He or she spends time with your friends and familyto get to know them yet will at the same time gives you space to spend time with them alone.

Maintains his or her own friendships and wants you to get to know his or her friends.

Continues his or her own interests in outside activities, such as sports, clubs, groups, jobs or hobbies.

Asks your opinion and respectfully listens to your answers.

Is comfortable with you having different opinions from him or her, does not take it as a personal insult if you disagree with them.

Cultivates a safe atmosphere where you can share your thoughts, feelings and emotions with Accepts responsibility for his or her own behavior, thoughts or feelings.

Apologizes when he or she is wrong, and accepts your apologies when you are wrong.

Considers your relationship a partnership.

Shares decision-making.

Expects both partners to control their own money.

Does not use manipulation (financial, emotional, etc) to get what he or she wants.

Treats other people as well as himself or herself with respect.

Is supportive of your friendships with people of the opposite sex, does not get jealous or possessive.

Trusts you and is trustworthy.

Encourages you in your goals and dreams.

Makes positive statement about your strengths and achievements.

Is complementary; does not criticize the way you look or dress.

Is someone who you feel safe with.

Resolves conflicts through clear dialogue without using insults, threats or violence.

Baby Saved By Donated Breastmilk

2008-04-12T14:15:00.002+08:00

See video here.

Baby saved by donated breast milkApril 11, 2008:
Women across America have been donating their breast milk to keep a premature baby alive after the death of her mother.

Weekend Waffle

2008-04-12T13:02:00.008+08:00

Thought it was about time I did another photo update. We had a mishap with our camera (again) so I have just lost another 3 months worth of photos because of a stupid memory card error, and I couldn't find the data cable to transfer all of them off the camera. BUGGER!

So anyway, Andrew won a new camera at work, so I have been testing it out to see if I like it any better, and here is the results. I don't think it works as nicely as my previous camera (the Canon Ixus 75), but this one is water and shock proof, (Olympus u790SW). Having these boys of mine, I like the safety aspect of that. I will have a bit more of a play with it and see if I can get a better picture... but for now here's a few of the crew.

A cute pic of Daddy and Twistie having a tickle. Mr T is chewing on his hands a fair bit, teeth coming in now. He's got two beautiful pegs on his bottom gum, and they've not been much of a drama coming through really.

Mr Lolo. We've got some great words happening at the moment. Plane and rain, wait and the best one yet... He can count to 5!!! It comes out UN, OO, EE, OR, EYE. He is really loving his one day a week at daycare. He gets to spend time in the room that Will is in, and then he has some time in the Big Toddlers room, and then Will comes to join him in the afternoon, so he is always allowed to have access to his big brother as a security blanket, but Will is also allowed to have time away from Lochlain to play with the bigger kids. We have to be really mindful of not expecting Will to take on a carer role for Lochlain, which he is so far inclined to do, not that it's not healthy for Lochlain to have Will watching over him, but that level of responsibility at four years old is far too much for Will to take on board. I have spoken with his carers and they are agreeing that it's ok to seperate them for Will's sake when he needs his space. Lochlain is still held and looked after, and he is coping well. And after all, it's about 8 hours a week, so it's not entirely dire.

I can't get any photos of Will, he runs away from the camera. Shy monkey that one! He is on a playdate today with Big Brooke's Tully, his best mate. He took his tool bag with some extra toys, and they'll be back later this afternoon. He was revved up and ready to go though as soon as he knew there was a chance of hanging out with Tully! Off to feed the T man... Lochie is asleep on the couch covered in hand drawn tattoos... Have a great week people!

A Drawing For Winter Approaching....

2008-04-08T14:20:00.004+08:00

Just want to show you all what I am currently working on for the Winter JOY cover.

It's still got a way to go before it's finished, but I am liking where it is going. The best thing about freehand drawing is that you just get to go with the flow of the pen. As it marks the paper it cuts it's own path and guides your hand. You really have no control over it.

The colour version will be the final edit I am hoping. Although I really like the black and white, I may do a full Black and White crisp version for my own wall.

I really need some canvas and new brushes desperately. And I would kill for some watercolours.

I feel my 'inner self' poking out through some cracks in this work.

So here's the halfway done piece.

Not a Happy Birthday

2008-03-25T19:11:00.003+09:00

Threatened, intimidated, bullied, violated: this is hospital birth as many mothers experience it. Amity Reed reports on the little-recognised crime of birth rape: The F Word

"...how in the world did we get to this point, where scores of women are being treated like slabs of meat on a butcher's table or cogs in the machinery of a conveyor belt? We believe that western medicine is so advanced and our technology so incredible that we rarely stop to think about the effects they have on biological processes and people themselves. Some things are not meant to be tampered with too much and childbirth may be one of them."

How indeed?

Rally Across Australia to Support the Women Hospitals Ignored

2008-03-23T22:41:00.004+09:00

Rally for Accountability: make healthcare about consumers! Joyous Birth, the Australian homebirth network is currently organising a national day of rallies to show support for the women stepping forward with allegations around their experiences of Graeme Reeves. This is planned for Friday 28 March, midday outside parliaments in every state and territory except for NT, at this point. Joyous Birth hopes that women all over Australia can join forces over this issue which we see as linked to the wider issues of medical culture in this country. A Graeme Reeves could only have occurred in a system which is already sick. Contact me for more information. Have you seen this in the news lately? Stand by these courageous women and offer them your support!

THEY call him the Butcher of Bega - a NSW doctor who has committed such monstrous acts that hundreds of terrified victims have remained silent for more than five years. Dr Graeme Stephen Reeves is alleged to have routinely mutilated or sexually abused as many as 500 female patients while he was working as a gynaecologist and obstetrician at various hospitals across Sydney and the NSW south coast. Click here for Source.

Mrs Dewaegeneire was admitted to Pambula Hospital on August 2002 to have a minor lesion removed from her labia. Before she lost consciousness to a general anaesthetic, she said Dr Reeves leaned over and whispered in her ear: "I'm going to take your clitoris, too". After the operation she discovered all her external genitalia had been cut off her body. It is alleged Dr Reeves later boasted of removing "all the fun bits" - and said she wouldn't need them as her husband had died. Click here for Source.

In spite of there being 1200 complaints against this man, there are those who still seek to protect him.

Butcher victims top 1200

SUPPORTERS of the "Butcher of Begs", Graeme Reeves, have gone to ground as the growing tsunami of email complaints surpasses the 1200 mark. The Sunday Telegraph was met with a wall of silence when it contacted former colleagues, psychiatrists and health regulators last week to find out how the disgraced former gynaecologist and obstetrician managed to escape detection for more than a decade. Only one former colleague spoke out last week to defend Reeves, who is accused of routinely mutilating and sexually abusing hundreds of patients. Click here for Source.

Last week Dr Simonson, who provided a letter of reference for Reeves at his NSW Medical Tribunal hearing in 2004, said he stood by his statement that Reeves was ``one of the better surgeons'' in his experience. "I assisted Dr Reeves in some operations and what I saw him do is what I've seen othersurgeons do similarly in other operations,'' he said. Asked if that meant he had seen other surgeons mutilate their patients, he replied: "I'm not commenting''. Click here for Source.

WE MUST EXPRESS OUR HORROR AND OUTRAGE THAT THIS HAS BEEN ALLOWED TO HAPPEN IN OUR HEALTH SYSTEM. WE MUST SHOW OUR SUPPORT FOR THIS MANS VICTIMS, AND SEND THE CLEAR MESSAGE THAT THIS MUST NEVER BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN AGAIN, AND THIS MAN MUST BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE. Nationwide rallies have been organised in the following cities, on Friday the 28th of March, Midday, on the steps of Parliament. CANBERRA - More info at http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=16155 BRISBANE - More info at http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=16180 HOBART - More info at http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=16160 SYDNEY - More info at http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=16158 PERTH - More info at http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=16157 ADELAIDE - More info at http://www.joyousbirth.info/forums/showthread.php?t=16210 Bring ribbons to tie to represent the women abused. Come along, bring your families, bring placards, spread the word! Contact Joyous Birth to get involved, spread the word, bring your mothers’ group, tell your school committees, tell anyone who’ll listen and come along to support these women. SLOGANS FOR PLACARDS: First Do No Harm Real Doctors Don't Abuse Women We Deserve Better! Ignorance is NOT strength! Respect Us. Care not Scare! We are watching YOU. Our bodies are our own. Procedure without Consent is ABUSE Ask. Listen. Respect. Consent is not a contract for abuse! My signature does NOT absolve you! Do that to me on the street. Go to Jail. You are not above the law. Abuse us, pay the consequences. No means NO - Even in Hospital! We don't trust you anymore.

Where Will You Birth?

2008-03-21T14:26:00.000+09:00

A Beautiful Belly Cast

2008-03-01T21:49:00.002+09:00

What better way of immortalising the stunning beauty of a baby belly? This was done for me at about 38 weeks when pregnant with Tristan. It was done at a gestation I never expected to reach, but knew fully well that from that point on, my baby was most definitely going to be full term. I was in a really wicked space this day, surrounded by awesome, loving, genuine women who were so in to sharing my journey with me. The honoured me and my pregnant self, lathering me before applying the cool plaster. Smoothing the creases of the cast. Holding it as it dried and watching a piece of art come to life. I wish every pregnant woman had the opportunity to really experience something as awesome as being casted when pregnant. Looking back on our bodies in their pregnant form really forces one to comprehend the massive changes we undertake as women in growing a baby.

Pay It Forward

2008-02-25T23:15:00.001+09:00

From the lovely Bel's blog and now my turn to continue the thread of connection. The first three people to comment on this post will receive a gift from me, sometime within the next 365 days. Who knows when it will turn up, or what it will be, but rest assured, it will arrive. All you have to do is promise to make the same declaration on your blog, and send out gifts to three of your lovely readers. Easy Peasy.

February Rolls to a Close

2008-02-25T22:31:00.002+09:00

Hey all. Sorry I have been so slack with updating but it has been a busy month for us. I have just been upgraded to the status of "Kindy Mum" and finding my groove with parenting three very active boys. Yes, my little, tiny, precious first born has begun stepping out into the world as a kindy boy. *sniff*. I can already see him pulling into the drive way in his car at 18 with his girlfriend hanging off him. He absolutely loves kindy. He tells me which days are kindy days when we get up in the morning, and races out the door after brekky. His teacher sent a lovely note home with him last week, telling me how helpful he is. I can't believe he is already 4.5, where did the time go? It feels like yesterday I had him in my arms, snuggled in to me, and I was his world. They don't stay small long do they? In other news, Lochlain has finished up with his speech pathologist for a few weeks. It works out that we get 5 weeks out of 15 with her, but he is on the waiting list still for the Language Development Centre, so I am hoping that his spot will come up soon. He is making slow progress with the talking, but his eating is 1000 times better than what it was a year ago. This time last year he was diagnosed with failure to thrive. To look at him now, you'd laugh. A stocky little bloke with no bum and a swagger like a cowboy. Not failing at all now! His words are slow to come. We still struggle with his severely limited vocabulary as he tries so hard to communicate but is starting to get to the point where he is giving up before even trying, which is a bit sad to see some days. Other days we have such great times, and he really gets into trying hard to speak, but you can tell it wears him out, all the stimulation. One step at a time though. Tristan, well, he is a freaking chatterbox! He crawls and babbles all day. He is loud, and sings in the car, and chat chat chats non stop. He loves his brothers so much and chases them around the house, follows them out to the yard, and loves to get in on whatever they are doing. He is a total food man, and his favourite time of the day is dinner time, sitting at the table with the rest of us. His crawl is a bit of a laugh, he drags himself along with his arms, but only uses one foot which has huge blisters on it from the tiles. If I get a pic of him cruising I will post it. I have been a bit slack with the photos of late. Sorry. I took Tristan to Adelaide for 5 days to catch up with Nan and the family over there. He had a great time, and I really enjoyed the cool break from the stinking hot weather we'd had here. Not to mention not having to get up and do breakky for 5 days heehee. Nan hadn't met Tristan yet, and after having her hip replaced late last year, and being due to have her knees done, I figured it was better that I did the cross country travelling to make the acquaintance. According to Andrew the boys didn't miss me at all, and just assumed I was working. Ha! I managed to catch up with some fabulous JB SA women who had a great lunch with me, and got to hang out with some groovy mamas who were so warm and welcoming - just like the JB WA crew! The photos I took at Nan's are on an old camera, you know, the ones that take film. OMG yes they do still make them hahaha. I forget my digicam, and had to be rescued by the good old sposie camera, which isn't actually disposable, it's a reusable one. But when I get around to scanning in the pics I will post those too. Playgroup went back a couple of weeks ago, but I have only made it to one so far this year. I am finding it harder to travel far from home right now, as I find the more I take advantage of certain day naps, the more I get done around here, so I am being really conservative with my time and just hiding out here. That said, I am certainly not hermitting from social opportunities and am still haunting ABA meets, random catchups with friends and doing the talks at JHC three nights a month. Jo (a good friend) and I have decided to go out on a date once a month and see a movie. I have been lucky enough to manage going with Tristan to see the last two at late night sessions, but he's getting to the age where he is too interested in mucking about. Might have to reassess taking him in with me and leave him with Andrew or something. We have taken the boys fishing a couple of times with Jo and Matt (her husband) and the boys have had a complete riot. I broke my toe about 5 weeks ago though so I put a damper on that by being a bit of a homebody while it healed. You forget how much a broken bone hurts! My goodness, I wanted to amputate it at one point. I am still wincing when putting too much pressure on it. Other news... Andrew is working full time at the moment. Not in an ideal job, but we had some uni drama. I have deferred for another year, but am looking at a couple of options right now. The boys are really missing having Andrew at home as much as he used to be and we've found that Will is the most affected by his absence in a day. He loves hanging out with him when he gets home though, and still has night cuddles with his Dad. A new experience for me too really, I am so used to Andrew being around sporadically that having him working in a 'normal' job really gives some structure to our weeks, along with the kindy roster, my work day and the general life rhythms, I am really feeling a definite groove setting in, and it's working pretty well for now. Just taken a couple of weeks for me to find my feet and get that rhythm to really roll. We have some adventure planned for this year, and I will update on those as things become more concrete but out current plans do involve a move, a bit of a seachange you could say. We're just trying to get to a point where we are ready to commit to making this move and we'll be on our way. Well then, it's late, and I have rambled far too much. I am going to head to bed with my sleepy babes. I will post some pics in the next couple of days, when I find the cable for the camera. Otherwise my loved ones, stay calm, stay safe, stay happy. Peace out xxx x B

Long Live Babies

2008-01-05T21:26:00.000+09:00

Can you spot me? I am "another HBAC" in case you don't recognise me. 2008 - The Year of Homebirth Awareness

Super Quick Photo Update

2008-01-04T23:52:00.000+09:00

I lost the cable for the camera for a couple of weeks, but after cleaning out the linen closet I have found it. So what better way to celebrate than upload some pictures of my scrummy muffins??!!

Tristan is now 5 months old, rolling and chasing the boys around the room, but happy to not crawl yet, thank goodness. He is still living on just breastmilk, proving yet again that I make full cream milk ;-).

I haven't had him weighed and measured in a long time, not sure that I will bother any more, as it's more to do with gloating than concern over his food intake that would compel me to weigh him. He looks pretty darn healthy to me!

We spent a couple of days before Christmas down at Dad's, camping in the backyard. Yep, camping for real! The boys loved it, tent life is the best. Haha. We left Christmas morning to come back up for a lunch with Andrew's family, and so Nanna and Grandad could meet Tristan. We had a great day, but Andrew had to work in the afternoon.

Boxing day, was bloody hot. 44 degrees or something ridiculous. We just swam and lived in the air conditioning.

The last couple of weeks haven't been any different really, loads of swimming, eating cold fruit and living in air con. Mid December saw me have some car dramas, so for now I am glad to be able to trust my car again, but finding I am less and less inclined to drive very far in the heat for fear of being stranded somewhere! Ha. Will starts kindy in 4 or 5 weeks time, he is so excited. In early December he got a letter from his teacher, telling him how much fun they are going to have next year, playing with playdough and building with blocks. She also reminded him to bring his hat and his water bottle and a piece of fruit to share. He thought it was a fantastic thing to recieve in the mail! It made him really excited.

He has really taken to photography of late, he loves setting up shots and taking photos of things that interest him. I will post a little sneak peak at some of the stuff he captures. I am going to make a photo book for him of all the stuff he creates, he is really into it. It's brilliant. He is also really into cutting with scissors too, so depending on his co-operation level we may even be able to make a photo collage together, see how it goes. Here is a shot he did not long ago:

Lochlain had another speech pathology assessment and has been diagnosed with Verbal Dyspraxia. We now have a name for what is going on with him, and as much as it is a label, it is a label that can enable us to get so much more help for him. You can find out more here: Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia. He goes back to the speech path next week, we have been giving some OT exercises to do with him, to encourage sensory awareness in his mouth, and he is on the waiting list for the Language Development Centre where he will go to a special kind of kindy aimed at helping kids with just Language Development issues, it is not a school for intellectually disabled, as that's not what he is, he has a motor problem. We should find out soon when that all starts.

Andrew goes back to uni in March, his final year! Hooray! I cannot wait (nor can he) for this year to be over so that he can finally get out in to the workforce again full time. He has taken on extra hours over this uni break in his current job. But knowing that he is so much closer to being qualified just makes the prospect of ATP and FTP so much easier to bear.

For me, well I didn't get in to the BMid, but I wasn't expecting to. Two of my friends have had interviews for the same course, so I really hope they get through. I will have to go back and do Nursing instead now, and will probably just do it part time this semester, 2 units, as I have to go back to work next week. Yep, even though I quit. I had applied for the permanent position, having previously only been a contractor, so now I go back as a permanent employee which does allow me certain freedoms. And besides that, it's really easy money.

I am going to Adelaide in Feb for 5 days, to see Nan and the family. Can't wait! Will post loads of pics of Nan meeting Tristan.

Oh and I cut all my hair off, did I tell you? See the pic over to right and down a bit... yup, short and brown. What??!?!

Well then, my boys are all sleeping and I am off to join them. Hope you all had a great festive season. We did, but I am glad of the years break before we have to do it all again!

Love and light.

Peace out.

x B

Power

2007-12-19T22:41:00.000+09:00

Cover art submission for 'Joy: e-zine" Summer 2007-2008.

Chunks, The Pink Punk Monster - Will

2007-12-08T16:15:00.000+09:00

Here's Will's monster creation. He wanted me to share it with people. His name is Chunks and he eats green trees (brocolli). He has a lovely pink coat and lives in a pink city, with pink buildings.

Major Milestone for Lochlain

2007-12-05T23:50:00.000+09:00

We have reached a new milestone with Lochlain, I am so happy I just have to tell you all about it!!

He is stringing two words together!

Now that might not sound like much, but for us it is HUGE!

He still can not form words properly at all. But tonight whilst eat dinner he clearly told me "OT ot", meaning "NOT HOT" as he was holding his hand over his forkful of pasta, now I know this because he then said to me when I asked where Grandad was "OT OHM" meaning "NOT HOME" making a shoulder shrug gesture.

This is fantastic, and far more than we expected at this stage, seeing as he hasn't even started his effective therapy yet, we have only done the parent ed sessions and done some home learning with him. Andrew and I have made much more of an effort to encourage his language development and we can finally see it paying off. We are getting somewhere!!! He is almost 2.5 and still can't be understood by anyone other than Andrew or I, and even then it's mostly just guessing with his use of gestures.

His gestures have become more pronounced and more recognisable, and he is using his substitute word ("ESZ") for everything that he can't say or communicate. But getting two clear words in a row is just freaking awesome. We did a little happy dance with him and we sang songs and had big cuddles while we practiced his two words.My special little guy is coming along great!!

(shameless cross post!)

Green Smoothie Challenge

2007-12-02T16:27:00.000+09:00

I am starting a 5 day Green Smoothie Challenge today. If all goes well I am hoping to stick to it for all of summer. So today, is day one. I did not start my day with good eating at all. I had my last binge on crap before making the change. Here goes, will add my charts when I get time. Today's green smoothie was watermelon, mango, kiwi fruit and baby spinach, with water. Delicious!! x B

Earthly ponderings. Tanka fiddling.

2007-11-26T23:56:00.000+09:00

Soft hand on my face

Your gentle touch unbuttons

my heart, rushing love-

Snow falls gently to the ground,

touching the earth, soft as hands.

Lotus flower in

bloom. Ripe, luscious, sweet scent-

You carry within

you a child of love, my child.

Succulent and pregnant

my spring.

Update Time: Pure Chaos

2007-11-16T22:07:00.001+09:00

Phwoar. Time to sit down and just chill out for a bit I think. Even having a glass (read 'bottle') of wine this evening, just in an attempt to slow my brain down.

I feel like we have just been propelled into space these last few weeks. Hardly a moment to breathe.

We took a trip to Port Denison at the beginning of the month for Ava's first birthday. We stayed in the most amazing spot, just north of the marina right on the beach. This was our view from the porch.

It was a very hot, incredibly fly blown trip away. Tristan was overly keen on being away from his own bed, despite having a bed with mama all to himself. William and Lochlain loved spending time on the beach and hanging out at Aunty Kate's house, but because of Andrew's uni commitments we had to come home a day early so he could submit an assignment.

Here is the birthday girl showing us how brilliant a day she is having. It was great to see so many kids having fun and it was such a relaxed and welcoming atmosphere that I was tempted to just nap on the couch while the party went on without me haha. Isn't she gorgeous??!!

Upon our return home we had a week of busy-ness thrust upon us. I had a gathering to attend at a friend's house before she birthed her baby, we had William's birthday/bbq to organise and all the other in between stuff that we, as mums, do.

Will's birthday was fantastic. We had playgroup friends over for a bbq lunch and there was a giant spread of fruit and salads and platters. I was really chuffed with what I had put out in such a short time. Will loved playing with all his friends, and Andrew set up the tent in the yard for them to play in for shade. It was an afternoon of fun and we really loved having a perfect sunny day to honour our big boy turning 4.

Will had a trip to Yanchep to see great nanna and great grandad with grandma and grandad on the Friday as we were supposed to be taking Lochlain to his speech pathologist, but she cancelled on me, so instead we spent the day shopping with just two boys!

Saturday we drove out to the hills sans Andrew, he was at work. We caught up with two of my doulas, and sat in the sunshine eating fruit and raw vegan pie, it was amazing, made by the bloody jill of all trades, Megan. She even made topdeck style raw vegan chocolate. It was an awesome day just hanging out, letting the kids splash in the paddling pool and chilling out with some funky mamas.

We had Aunty Jackie over for a bbq that night, and we just seemed to be on a good food roll. The night was so balmy and calm, and the boys played play do on the patio until the sun was well down.

We swam the next day at Aunty Jackie and Uncle Glenn's, then came home and all had an afternoon siesta. Sadly I fell asleep with my glasses on AGAIN and woke up to a broken pair of specs, AGAIN. 'Twas my own fault though, and I really should have learned by now.

So Monday was interrupted by having to take them to be repaired, and then having Donna over for lunch. A blast from the past eh? She rocks up on a freakin' giant motorbike, looking like Miss Thang... that's me being jealous haha. Was great to catch up with someone who knew me before babies, back when I had a brain. We raved for a couple of hours, before she picked her stepsons up from school (I know, she's a stepmom, what the??!!).

Andrew took the boys camping in Yanchep on Tuesday night. They had an awesome time with some of his uni mates. The saw some new wildlife and experienced the mosquitoes to the max. When Will got home I seriously thought he might have chicken pox, he has that many bites on him. Lochlain made a new friend, in one of the girls who is in Andrew's course, he fell asleep in her lap and stole her heart.

Will did his usual party trick of being up at the butt crack of dawn, so everyone was home early the next day.

For the rest of this week I have been trying to help out a friend who just had her 2nd baby, albeit a little earlier than expected so they were caught a bit short on being totally ready. We did the tribe day and got her house cleaned and stuff sorted for her to come home to. It feels awesome to be part of a community that supports other mums in their early postpartum period, so that the transition to a larger family can be a little easier for all involved.

In the middle of all this I have done three talks at JHC for the ABA in the antenatal classes of an evening. It's been a great chance to get my head back on track with being involved in consumer groups and volunteer work that all lends towards helping me achieve my ultimate goal of midwife/lactation consultancy.

The one I did last week went really well I though, then this Wednesday night I totally bombed out, but I think I was just truthfully too tired, and in hindsight I should have cancelled. Thursday night I totally nailed it and felt like I really had a great grip on what it is I am meant to be doing. Small steps, but I am getting there.

Today we finally caught up with Lochlain's speech pathologist for his review, and she is sending another referral off to PMH to see the feeding team as we are still having some major issues with his eating/talking/behaviour/development stuff. I explained to her the problems I had earlier in the year with a paed. at PMH and she understood my concern and has detailed that in the referral so that I don't have to go through it all again.

Then to top of some crazy background stuff we find out that Nan broke her hip last night. She a prosthesis done this morning and I spoke to Aunty Lyn tonight who is with her and I said I will call over the weekend, but I don't really know how it happened, Kate said she fell or something. I will send flowers tomorrow, and some 'happy thoughts' but from here there isn't much else I can do right now.

Phew, got that all out. I am off to zone out with the telly. I am exhausted and am heading into the hills again tomorrow.

Peace out. x x x

Oh and here is a token photo of Tristan.... just cos he is yum.

What Women Aren't Told About Childbirth

2007-11-16T21:26:00.001+09:00

What Women Aren't Told About Childbirth By Manda Aufochs Gillespie and Mariya Strauss, AlterNet. A new survey of mothers reveals some disturbing things about hospital maternity care that may make pregnant women want to take a closer look at their options. Even in this age of cybervoyeurism and hyperinformation, the act of having a baby remains one of the few bodily activities about which many people choose to remain blissfully ignorant. This might best be described as the "but it won't happen to me" phenomenon. Understandably, women hope, despite all they may learn otherwise, that pregnancy, childbirth and parenting will go easier for them -- their baby will sleep, their feet won't swell to the size of melons and, of course, they will have an uncomplicated -- sweaty, perhaps, but not seriously painful -- labor.Like most myths, there are the people for whom the fiction is the reality, but they are the exception. Chances are your baby will cry at night; your feet will swell; and unless you are willing to research in depth, shop around for care providers and advocate stubbornly for what you want, you probably won't have the labor you expect. This isn't just a benign statement about how we never get what we expect: A new survey of mothers reveals some disturbing things about hospital maternity care that may make pregnant women want to take a closer look at their options.The survey Listening to Mothers II (LM 2) was released in 2006 and reports on U.S. women's childbearing experiences. Conducted for Childbirth Connection by Harris Interactive in partnership with Lamaze International and Boston University School of Public Health, it is the first comprehensive survey of women's childbearing experiences. The survey population is representative of U.S. mothers 18 to 45 who gave birth to a single infant in a hospital, with 1,573 actual participants."The predominant picture that emerges from our data," the report states, "is of large segments of this population experiencing clearly inappropriate care."The majority of women ended up attached to IVs, catheters and fetal monitors. They had their membranes artificially ruptured and were given epidurals. Most of these women had little understanding of the side effects of these interventions, including cesarean and medical inductions. The report also shows that though women understood that they had the right to refuse medical interventions, few did, and many received interventions, such as episiotomies, without their consent.Just as troubling is what is not being done. A "very tiny minority" of women received all of the care practices that promote natural birth. "With 4 million U.S. births annually, a single percentage point represents about 40,000 mothers and babies per year," the report authors say. Despite the relative health of women in the United States, many women are not getting the uncomplicated births they might expect.But whose responsibility is it to make sure a baby's birth is a positive experience for the mother and her family? And what kind of birth do women want?Achieving a more natural natural birthPopular media outlets and advertisers would have women believe that labor and delivery happen in only one context: hospitals. When television shows, health magazines and films depict birth as a highly medicalized phenomenon that involves lots of screaming, a command to push and a baby before the next commercial break, it is no wonder that so few women in labor think to ask for more information when they are offered medical interventions. Or that so few are educated about natural childbirth.Juli Walter teaches childbirth education classes on Chicago's northwest side. "Most of my students have an idea when they come to class that they would like to have a natural childbirth," says Walter. "However, they don't really have an understanding of what they need to have a natural birth." Though some make an effort to learn about birth from other mothers or books, most pregnant women don't have a grasp of the details of childbirth -- things like the physical and emotional stages of labor, the anatomical changes their bodies are experiencing, or the amount of pain they are likely to experience in labor and delivery. Even among the women who say they want a natural birth, the term "natural" doesn't always mean the same thing. Many people believe that labor and birth are a natural human process, engineered by evolution with such sensitivity that any intervention -- like administering anesthesia or drugs to speed labor -- could cause it to malfunction. Under this model, most births are attended by midwives who act as lifeguards -- well-trained birth professionals who will be constantly present and intervene only if serious complications arise. This type of assistance during a birth, says doula and certified professional midwife (CPM) Mary Doyle, is "more about collaborating and being an ally to a pregnant woman, honoring her choices and letting her be in control of her experience rather than dictating what is going to happen."Following this model of care for labor and birth, a woman might have her baby at home or in a midwife-staffed birthing center, both with the ability to transfer to a nearby hospital. Women have all sorts of reasons for wanting an alternative to hospitals: "For some women, it's the intimacy of birth that makes them want a birth center or to give birth at home," says Gayle Riedmann, a Certified Nurse-Midwife (CNM) who runs a midwifery practice in Oak Park, Ill. She is a board member of the Health and Medicine Policy Research Group (HMPRG), a group of health professionals and researchers that advocates for health-related policy improvements across the state.Others believe that all birth can be considered "natural" and that birth with epidural anesthesia and continuous electronic fetal monitoring is no less natural. A large percentage of women -- 76 percent of all women in the LM 2 survey -- wind up getting an epidural for pain during labor. Many doctors consider epidurals to be the standard of care for treating the pain of labor.In a 2003 article on birth, the American Family Physician suggests childbirth classes as a good way to learn more about labor, natural childbirth, the benefits and risks of pain medications and alternative pain management techniques. These nondrug means of easing the pain of labor include walking, changing positions, taking showers or warm baths and using breathing exercises, hypnosis, relaxation and massage." The article also says that by hiring a doula, a birth assistant who focuses on the laboring woman's needs, "you might be less likely to need pain medicines. You might also be less likely to have a cesarean delivery. "The LM 2 survey, however, shows that only 2 percent of women received all of these natural pain-relieving measures. Despite the fact that half of the interviewed women felt that birth should not be interfered with unless medically necessary, the vast majority received medical interventions. Many women reported experiencing pressure to have their labors induced, to accept an epidural and even to have a cesarean. A full 73 percent who had an episiotomy were not given a choice in this decision.What are women not being told?The World Health Organization recommends that the rate of cesarean births for any country not exceed 10 percent to 15 percent. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention puts the U.S. rate at over twice that: 30.2 percent, and the LM 2 survey suggests this number is on the rise.The United States is also one of the only wealthy countries where the maternal death rate is climbing. In 2004, the most recent year for which information was available, the maternal death rate in the United States jumped to 13 deaths per 100,000, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. This marks a significant increase from just four years earlier when it was 11 deaths per 100,000 births. Maternal death rates continue to be significantly higher for African-American and Hispanic women.Among developed countries, the World Health Organization reports, 29 have better infant mortality rates than the United States, including Slovenia and Cuba, and 41 have better maternal mortality rates.Why are women in the United States more likely to die from childbirth than their peers in other industrialized countries? The rising rates of medical intervention and surgery in birth and their attendant risks are a big part of the answer.Obstetricians tend to intervene in a normal birthWalter says that women in her classes are routinely uninformed about the birth attendants they choose. "Most women just go with their OB who has been doing their pap smear for ten years and are like, 'Oh, I want to have a natural childbirth.'"The LM 2 survey confirms Walter's perception: The majority of women surveyed never bothered to interview multiple providers or find a hospital with an approach to childbirth matching their own.Obstetricians are surgeons with an expertise in female reproductive pathology. They often provide routine gynecological care, but when it comes to childbirth, their training has primarily prepared them to actively manage a high-risk birth or to intervene medically and surgically when something goes wrong during a birth. Though they may have attended hundreds or even thousands of births, few obstetricians have much experience with unmedicated births. Even fewer have attended out-of-hospital births.Indeed, their professional association, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), last year went so far as to issue a wholesale condemnation of out-of-hospital birth. They cited a lack of evidence to support the safety of birth outside hospitals, despite its undisputed record of safety in many other countries. In their Guidelines for Perinatal Care, fifth edition, published in 2002, ACOG states, "Although ACOG acknowledges a woman's right to make informed decisions regarding her delivery, ACOG does not support programs or individuals that advocate for or who provide out-of-hospital births."One doctor who practices out-of-hospital birth anyway is Mayer Eisenstein, founder and medical director of Chicago's Homefirst Health Services. Homefirst provides doctors and midwives to attend births in homes. Though some people bristle at Eisenstein's hands-off approach to birth, he has been attending births in homes for over 30 years. With more than 14,000 deliveries, his practice maintains a cesarean section rate of less than 10 percent, an episiotomy rate of less than one percent (compared to nearly 35 percent nationally) and virtually no need for pain medications or I.V. fluids.Many obstetricians have never witnessed a natural birth in its entirety, and today, Eisenstein says, a natural birth in a hospital is "almost nonexistent. It was more likely 25 years ago than today." People ask more questions when they buy a car or a house than they do when they choose the care provider and birth location that will be part of one of the most important experiences in the life of a family. All of the doctors are nice, he says, "but you're not hiring your doctor to like [him], you are hiring [him] to have the safest possible birth.""For 20 years," says Eisenstein, "OBs have been saying you can't have your baby at home because it's too dangerous. The corollary would be, if you have it in a hospital, it would be safe.""It's not true," he says. "Show me a study that shows it's safer to have a baby in a hospital. It's not evidence-based." Eisenstein says he feels that women are being led to believe that their low-risk pregnancies are likely to have better outcomes in the hospital and when something goes wrong, "they sue."A cascade of interventionsChildbirth educators often talk about the "cascade" of medical interventions: the likelihood that once you receive one intervention, like Pitocin, you are more likely to receive another intervention, like an epidural. Many women never question these interventions, though they frequently are linked to babies being born by cesarean section."In an unmedicated labor," Doyle says, "the body releases its own oxytocin, which stimulates contractions. The brain responds to the pain of these contractions by releasing endorphins. When synthesized oxytocin [aka Pitocin] is administered through an IV, contractions can come on quite suddenly, and these contractions are often longer, more intense and more consistent than the body's natural endorphins can keep up with." The intense pain of Pitocin-augmented labor often causes women who may have wanted an unmedicated birth to ask for or accept pain medication. Doyle has attended dozens of hospitals births as a doula and has seen this phenomenon many times.The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has never approved Pitocin for the use of augmenting labor and it has been suggested now that mismanagement of Pitocin is the leading cause of liability suits and damage awards.Continuous electronic fetal heart monitoring is another seemingly innocuous medical intervention that is linked to adverse outcomes. Even though it requires women to be strapped to a machine and therefore limits their mobility -- movement in labor is listed as one of the recommended comfort measures by Lamaze International -- it may seem that constant feedback on a baby's heart rate would reduce unnecessary interventions and surgical procedures. Yet, some studies have shown CEFM to be an ineffective indicator of fetal distress and one of the causes of the increase in cesareans."There is no scientific reason do to any of this stuff," says Eisenstein.Cesareans lead to more cesareansOnce a woman has a primary cesarean, chances are she will have a cesarean for subsequent births. Fewer and fewer obstetrics and midwifery practices are willing to assist in a vaginal birth after cesarean, or VBAC. The risks to both mother and baby from a potential uterine rupture during labor are greater than they would be for a woman without a cesarean scar. This is part of the reason why the rate of cesareans is increasing nationally."A small proportion of mothers with a previous cesarean (11 percent) had VBAC, though quite a few would have liked to have had the choice but had providers or hospitals unwilling to support their vaginal births," according to LM 2. The vast majority of the women surveyed in the report supported the right of a woman to choose a VBAC. The Healthcare Cost and Utilization Project (HCUP), a 2000 study conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, showed that the average hospital stay and total charges were over 40 percent higher for women with repeat cesareans than for women who manage to have a VBAC.There are measures a woman having a cesarean can take to help her own chances of being able to have a VBAC. Evidence links a fad in obstetrics care -- the single layer uterine suture -- with an increase in incidents of subsequent problems like uterine rupture. Noted midwife and childbirth expert Ina May Gaskin advises in her book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth that a woman may be able to increase the likelihood of having a VBAC in the future and reduce the chance of other serious complications by requesting a double-layer suture: separate sutures for the uterine wall and for the skin and tissue covering the uterus.The business of birthWith childbirth accounting for more than four million hospital stays annually and over $33 billion dollars in aggregate charges in 2003, according to HCUP, babies are big business.Many families choose -- out of convenience or out of financial necessity -- to go to a provider that is paid for by their health insurance company; it is often more affordable for a family to go to a doctor or nurse-midwife based in a hospital because healthcare providers generally will not cover home-based birth.The irony is that, although patients may pay less out-of-pocket, hospital births cost a great deal more than births in birth centers or at home. Nationally, birth centers cost 30 percent to 50 percent of a hospital birth, and homebirths, which usually range from $1,500 to $4,000, cost a mere 10 percent to 30 percent of a hospital birth, on average. The difference in costs is partially due to how hospitals bill: "Each thing has a charge, each doctor. There are IV fees, different machines, even Kleenex fees. With a home birth you have a midwife fee and some supplies," says Ida Darragh, chair of the North American Registry of Midwives. Gayle Riedmann, the midwife from Oak Park, explains that birth centers, too, charge a single fee for the entire birth experience, adding, "A number of families who do not have health insurance and can't afford a hospital birth could use a birth center."But here's a funny thing: Women without insurance are less likely to end up with cesareans, as are women with Medicaid, according to the HCUP study. Women with private insurance, the study says, have the highest cesarean rate.Sue Thotz, a Chicago mother of two who had both children without medication in hospitals with midwives says, "I would have loved to birth at home." However, she explains this wasn't an option for her because, "Both births were insured with Medicaid, and the state doesn't exactly pay for homebirths." Of the national population surveyed in LM 2, 41 percent received Medicaid or similar government benefits for some of their care. Medicaid does cover the costs for CPMs in nine states (including Arkansas, Arizona, California, Florida, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Oregon, South Carolina and Washington).For most women, the fact that hospitals have virtually cornered the market on childbirth and maternity care means that birth itself can assume the form of a medical problem rather than a normal human process. And, since most mothers are giving birth in a hospital room surrounded by highly trained doctors and sophisticated medical instruments, a low-risk, unmedicated labor can rapidly convert into a complex surgical case.Progress is being made nationally in providing birth options to women and their families. That progress, however, varies significantly from state to state. In 11 states women are prohibited from having a homebirth-trained attendant (a CPM) at their birth or are forbidden homebirths altogether, and in 17 states there are no freestanding birth centers available to women.In 2005, Virginia and Utah, and in 2006, Wisconsin passed regulatory legislation allowing CPMs to practice midwifery in their states. This year attention is on Missouri, which has appealed to the state's Supreme Court to allow a new CPM law to remain standing, and on Illinois, which has passed legislation to legalize and establish freestanding birth centers and has a CPM licensure law pending. One by one, these states are helping families regain control of their own birth experiences -- and for some, that is preferable to the technological advancements hospitals offer."It's about choice," says Riedmann. Whether women choose hospital birth or evidence-based, skilled care outside a hospital, Riedmann sums up: "We have to respect women's choices."Books for further reading on childbirth:* Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin, MA, CPM * Pushed: The painful truth about childbirth and modern maternity care, by Jennifer Block http://jenniferblock.com/wordpress/?page_id=9* The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, by Henci Goer * Born in the USA: How a broken maternity system must be fixed to put women and children first, by Marsden Wagner, MD, MShttp://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1925012What Women Aren't Told About Childbirth:http://www.alternet.org/healthwellness/65608?page=entireListening to Mothers Survey:http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10401

Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.

2007-11-07T23:11:00.000+09:00

Throughout human history, breast-feeding mothers sleeping alongside their infants constituted a marvelously adaptive system in which both the mothers' and infants' sleep physiology and health were connected in beneficial ways. By sleeping next to its mother, the infant receives protection, warmth, emotional reassurance, and breast milk - in just the forms and quantities that nature intended. This sleeping arrangement permits mothers (and fathers) to respond quickly to the infant if it cries, chokes, or needs its nasal passages cleared, its body cooled, warmed, caressed, rocked or held. This arrangement thus helps to regulate the infant's breathing, sleep state, arousal patterns, heart rates and body temperature. The mother's proximity also stimulates the infant to feed more frequently, thus receiving more antibodies to fight disease. The increased nipple contact also causes changes in the mother's hormone levels that help to prevent a new pregnancy before the infant is ready to be weaned. In this way, the infant regulates its mother's biology, too; increased breast-feeding blocks ovulation, which helps to ensure that pregnancies will not ordinarily occur until the mother's body is able to restore the fat and iron reserves needed for optimal maternal health. It is a curious fact that in Western societies the practice of mothers, fathers and infants sleeping together came to be thought of as strange, unhealthy and dangerous. Western parents are taught that "co-sleeping" will make the infant too dependent on them, or risk accidental suffocation. Such views are not supported by human experience worldwide, however, where for perhaps millions of years, infants as a matter of course slept next to at least one caregiver, usually the mother, in order to survive. At some point in recent history, infant separateness with low parental contact during the night came to be advocated by child care specialists, while infant-parent interdependence with high parental contact came to be discouraged. In fact, the few psychological studies which are available suggest that children who have "co-slept" in a loving and safe environment become better adjusted adults than those who were encouraged to sleep without parental contact or reassurance. The fear of suffocating infants has a long and complex cultural history. Since before the middle ages "overlying" or suffocating infants deliberately was common, particularly among the poor in crowded cities. This form of infanticide led local church authorities to make laws forbidding parents to let infants sleep next to them. The practice of giving infants alcohol or opiates to get them to sleep also became common; under such conditions, babies often did not wake up, and it was presumed that the mothers must have overlaid them. Also, in smoke-filled, under-ventilated rooms, infants can easily succumb to asphyxia. Unfortunately, health officials in some Western countries promote the message that sleep contact between the mother and infant increases the chances of the infant dying from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). But the research on which this message is based only indicates that bed-sharing can be dangerous when it occurs in the context of extreme poverty or when the mother is a smoker. Some researchers have attempted to export this message to other cultures. However, in Japan, for example, where co-sleeping is the norm, SIDS rates are among the lowest in the world, which suggests that this arrangement may actually help to prevent SIDS. Human infants need constant attention and contact with other human beings because they are unable to look after themselves. Unlike other mammals, they cannot keep themselves warm, move about, or feed themselves until relatively late in life. It is their extreme neurological immaturity at birth and slow maturation that make the mother-infant relationship so important. The human infant's brain is only about 25% of its adult weight at birth, whereas most other mammals are born with 60-90% of their adult brain size. The young of most other mammals become independent of their parents within a year, whereas humans take 14 to 17 years to become fully developed physically, and usually longer than that to be fully independent. Apart from being a natural characteristic of our species, constant proximity to the mother during infancy is also made necessary by the need to feed frequently. Human milk is composed of relatively low amounts of protein and fat, and high amounts of quickly absorbed and metabolized sugars. Therefore the infant's hunger cycle is short, as is the time spent in deep sleep. All of these factors seem to indicate that the custom of separating infants from their parents during sleep time is more the result of cultural history than of fundamental physiological or psychological needs. Sleep laboratory studies have shown that bed-sharing, instead of sleeping in separate rooms, almost doubled the number of breast-feeding episodes and tripled the total nightly duration of breast-feeding. Infants cried much less frequently when sleeping next to their mothers, and spent less time awake. We think that the more frequently infants are breast-fed, the less likely they are to die from cot death. Our scientific studies of mother and infants sleeping together have shown how tightly bound together the physiological and social aspects of the mother-infant relationship really are. Other studies have shown that separation of the mother and infant has adverse consequences. Anthropological considerations also suggest that separation between the mother and infant should be minimal. Western societies must consider carefully how far and under what circumstances they want to push infants away from the loving and protective co-sleeping environment. Infants' nutritional, emotional and social needs as well as maternal responses to them have evolved in this environment for millennia. Dr. James J. McKenna is a Professor of Anthropology and the Director of the Center for Behavioral Studies of Mother-Infant Sleep, Notre Dame University. This article first appeared in the March-April 1996 issue of World Health, the journal of the World Health Organization. © 1996, James J. McKenna

Colourful Cosleeping Cuddlers

2007-10-25T20:23:00.000+08:00

Just a couple of colourful pics of my cosleeping babes.

I think they are stunning.

Lochlain was entertaining Tristan with his sock puppet and Will was being camera shy, he wakes up just like me. Grumpy!

Hope you like them.

x B

Spring Is Well And Truly Here

2007-10-19T23:58:00.001+08:00

It's late. I should be in bed. I really should. Tristan started my day at about 5am, but here I am browsing the web and mucking around with some photos... feeling a little jaded about the online world tonight after a much loved community has almost imploded in it's own ego, and sold out, leaving me feeling rather gutted. Oh well, have to find a new home, and get my groove back elsewhere.

We spent the morning in Freo today, hanging out with some other funky mamas, having a coffee and a play out in the spring sunshine. It was fantastic, but of course I got sunburnt rather badly... hmmm not a nice tan. Naughty mama, not wearing a hat.

It was great to be out and about, and I picked up a new wrap. Yes, the sling addiction continues. I bought a Gyspy Mama today from Karritree Lane, as I am going to sell my HAB after a very short love affair with the jersey wraps I have decided that I need a lighter weight fabric going into summer, and I would prefer something that I could get wet and have it dry much quicker. Tristan also got a matching hat to go with it, so we look like the cool crew!

The weather is certainly turning it on of late, and we have some flowers starting to appear in random pockets of the garden. It's great for inspiring the useless gardener in me, and I am committed to getting my yard looking neat as before summer is here. I have some pots that are begging for Aloe Vera and Agave. I want to fill in some gaps out the front with more shrubs but am still undecided on what will fit with my "more natives" plan. I am loving that the boys have such an awesome yard to play in, with a great deal of shaded patio area, it makes for a great play date setting and a fantastic fruit eating spot!

The big boys are really into helping out with Tristan now and finding ways to be "mums" to Ted and Baybee. Ted is here on holidays while Grandma and Ron are in Sinagpore. Will has taken to slinging him around the place to keep him settled, and when he needs a mummy milk, Will obliges and faux feeds him. A little AP in the making. Lochie has adopted Will's Baybee in the interim but he is not fussed on being a slinging dada, he prefers to use a stroller and race around the yard, speed freak that one! Here is my slinging boy with Ted in his pouch.

Lochlain is known here as the key thief, and the addition of our new "busy shelf" for keys and wallets could not have come at a better time. Lochlain has added to his "Escape Ariste" repetoire and now knows how to get out of the dead bolted front door and into my car, in less than 30 seconds mind you. So the keys are now as high as they can be, and Mr Houdini is on 24 hour watch. Here's a pic of him in action, cheeky monkey. Sigh, I think it's time I hit the hay. As much as my brain is still ticking I am sure that I will benefit from an extra hour or two's sleep rather than sitting here mucking about. Oh, and a bit of *fluff* news, I have taken over giving the ABA info talks for the antenatal classes at the local hospital. It's 3 nights a month, and it's only about 25 minutes of giving people a heads up on where/how/why/when to get breastfeeding support. I am stoked, I feel like I am back on track with helping women out, and getting out and about doing what I want to do, empower women. It will all count towards my training as a counsellor, and as I get further along in my chosen career path it will all count towards me becoming a Lactation Consultant. That's right, the mad breastfeeder is choosing to move into paid work eventually to talk all day about something I have done for almost 4 years already! I have finished up my state government contract, so I am not working at the moment, which is allowing me to focus on my volunteer work a bit more, and giving me more flexibilty in steering myself towards my *ideal* career path. I have applied for direct entry midwifery next year at Curtin, and failing gaining entry into that (which is highly likely as I am only eligible for 1 of 9 places), I am in line for a nursing degree with ECU, to get through that and then do a post grad in midwifery. Yep, that's right. I want to catch babies, and help women boob on. Geez, whooda thunk that's where I would find my passion?! Ha, yep. I am sure I mentioned going to bed... I am certain of it. Well I better head to it... it's looking nice and cosy and I am reading a couple of great books at the moment so I may just sneak a peek into them before I shut my eyes. Night all, and have a fantastic weekend. I know I plan to! x B

Kate's 21st Present

2007-10-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

I finished it. 9 months late. oops. Sorry Bug.

The photo doesn't do it justice as the flash hits the paint badly....

But this is it. It is simple acrylic on canvas board. I really got into painting this one, and the kids loved helping me... although Andrew wasn't impressed with the art work on the projector screen. Oops.

I am really, really super keen to set up my art space out in the shed now. I went and bought new oils and new acyrlics yesterday and just need some new canvas and a fair few new brushes. Decent brushes. It's something I do slack it with my brushes a bit, and don't clean them off well enough.

This is what I call getting my groove back. Woo!

Big Bird Learns About Breastfeeding 1977

2007-10-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

Have a look at this: Sesame Street 1977.

Buses and Trains

2007-10-14T14:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had an adventure into town. The highlight for Lochlain was the walk on the overpass over the freeway where he could marvel at the cars racing below him. So excited! We caught a train to Glendalough and had to get on a bus to the city because of the trains being out of service into the city for the Mandurah rail link up. Wasn't too much of a hassle, the guards helped me get all three on the bus with no drama and Will loved being on a caterpillar bus, a new experience for him. The boys loved it. It was a bit tougher than I expected because of the bus transfer, but all in all, everyone was really helpful. I had Lochlain in the E3 with the bags in the baby bit, Tristan in the Hug-a-Bub and Will walked everywhere for me. We had a bit of an uh-oh moment on the way in, when Tristan had a poo-splosion, but thankfully I had invested in Cute Tooshies this week and he was well covered, and we had no blowouts! Fantastic! We had a look in Myer, and went to Borders to get part of Ava's birthday present. The boys got to pick out a book each and they both chose the same set of books in a box set, so no arguments. YAY. We watched some buskers in the mall for a bit, and went and got a cold drink in Carillon, and we made our journey home again. Will loved every minute of being on the train, so much to look at. Lochlain fell asleep on the bus from Perth to Glendalough, so thank goodness I took the E3. They were so exhausted from their day out and about, Will was asleep by about 6pm and Lochlain soon after.

The Birth High - Tristan is Born

2007-10-14T14:38:00.000+08:00

Like a form of foreplay, this long latency process (“forelabor”) seems to set up the biological and social circumstances so that all the “elements for success” are simultaneously present. Latent labor gets everyone gathered, involved and geared up to attend to the biological and emotional needs of the mother and baby. The marriage of biology to psychology with its attendant association to sociology (the right people present and the wrong people not) is necessary for physiological function. From http://www.collegeofmidwives.org/prac_issues01/MFer_01a.htm

This birth story has been so hard to write. Not because there was trauma, not because there were parts that were hazy and unclear because of drugs. It’s just that it’s a birth story that I find really hard to explain. In my mind my baby began his journey the day before he was born. A Friday. I had two of my doulas over for lunch and just to chill out and get a good feel for how I wanted my birth to go. I was feeling crampy and very blissed out. I could taste every atom in my food that day. I felt sharp and aware of every sensation. As my doulas left that night to do their own thing I felt like I was made of pure electricity. Andrew invited a friend and his girlfriend over to watch a movie and hang out with the kids. We sat up until about 11 watching old movies and just having a laugh. I was going to the toilet about every 30 minutes. I was losing huge amounts of mucous and the twinges really started to get me excited. I closed the front door at about 11.30 and went to bed with Lochlain, knowing in my heart I had a big job in the next few days. Saturday morning Andrew started work around 5am, I could hear him getting ready at around 4.30am and I remember hearing him leave and thinking that I just had to wait until his shift finished and then I could birth. I went back to sleep and woke at around 9am. Both the boys had slept in and we got up to have a lazy morning in our PJs. I got out of bed and took two steps to the bedroom door. BANG. A contraction. Ok, get a grip Brooke, this is going to be hours yet and you have things to do. Get the kids’ breakfast. I made food, and ate breakfast for myself. I got up to go the toilet. BANG. Another contraction. Or was it? Nah, it was just a niggle, I am not in labour. That hurts far more than this. I turn on the computer and log on to MSN. Laura is free to chat so we have a little rave online, and I let her know that I think I am warming up. I time two twinges while I am chatting, 8 minute gaps between them. But they don’t really hurt in my back, it’s lower and to the front, so surely it’s not even real labour. Laura asks if I need company for the day and I figure why the hell not. I tell her to get her skates on, and see if I can manifest perfection. I try to do the dishes, but the twinges are distracting me. The phone rings. Did I text someone? I don’t remember. I answer the phone. “Megan is that you?” I hiss through gritted teeth at the peak of a twinge. Shit, should have waited until the end of the contraction before I answered the phone. Don’t want to freak her out. But I want someone here NOW. Megan talks to me, I try to tell her I am not in labour, but I am. She decides to come to me. Her and Laura are both about 40 minutes away from me, in opposite directions so I know that I am going to be alone for a while longer. I decide to tell myself I am not in labour. I try to chat more online to people. Nope, can’t do that, I can’t concentrate. I put on a movie for the kids and just pace around the house. I am not in real labour yet, it doesn’t hurt enough. Time passes. I get a text, my witches are 20 minutes away. I sit on the toilet and try to read a magazine. It’s a Zoo magazine, why am I looking at naked women? Ugh. Get up and pace some more. Megan arrives. Greg waits in the driveway in case it looks like I am closer to birthing than I let on. Nope, I smile and wave, have a laugh. I am not in real labour yet. I just need company. Lochlain is extremely ill. He is screaming at me, constantly. His fever rages. He sleeps in fits and wakes to scream and cling to me. Laura arrives. We chat. We have fruit. Fantastic strawberries. And organic chocolate. Oh, and the strawberries and cream lollies too. My water bottle is endlessly refilled. We tidy the boys bedroom. Well, Megan and Laura tidy, while I sit on the edge of the beds. I go silent occasionally and the house honours me. We get the boys lunch. Or at least I assume we did. I stand lots, and just rock every now and then. But I am not hurting yet, so this is going to be hours, days even. I feel stupid for calling the team in so early on in the piece. I need help with Lochlain but he won’t go to anyone. He warms to Megan. And eventually Laura.. He is still screaming. And screaming. I need him to sleep. Someone asks where Andrew is. I explain that I am not calling him home from his shift because he finishes at 1.30pm. My witches roll with that. He comes home and I tell him to go to bed. I need him to sleep so he can be alert for me in the night. I tell him to take Lochlain to bed. I need a break from the screaming. Will hangs out with us. We eat, chat, laugh. I don’t remember any of what went on in the next few hours. But I certainly wasn’t in real labour yet, definitely not. Andrew arranges for his mum to come for dinner. I am not in labour yet. At least that’s what I have told him. Lochlain wakes and screams some more. This all happens around me in a blur. Megan #2 arrives with a birth ball. I asked for one apparently. Now I can’t bear to look at it. But they talk about brownies, food. So hungry. Laura leaves. Her baby is sick and needs her. I still have two crew. Two Megans. One Megan leaves, Melissa arrives. I have no idea what order that happens in. Lochlain is still screaming. I can hear Andrew snoring. Andrew’s mum arrives for dinner. I am at the kitchen sink. “I am going to have a baby tonight,” I breathe. More activity as she realises I mean I am in labour. But I am not in real labour. It doesn’t hurt yet. Someone asks about the kid’s clothes for an overnight stay. I remember having packed stuff. Where did I put it? In the car. I get more stuff ready for them, they are excited, because granddad is coming to get them. Who is here? Where is Andrew? He needs dinner. Eat dinner. All of you. Please. I am going to need you all tonight, it’s going to be hours yet. I start to pay a bit more attention to these twinges but am still able to move through them. The kids leave. I wave them off, thinking that it’s still days before I birth, and people are being far too preemptive around me. It doesn’t hurt yet. Andrew eats. A potato crisp sandwhich and a pepsi. I remember that. We are still laughing and chatting. Melissa is easing Andrew into the idea that I am birthing. He resists that I am in labour. I’m not, it doesn’t hurt yet. Time passes. Someone hands me the phone, someone wants to talk to me. Trying to focus. Hold the kitchen bench. It’s a midwife. I give her my details, and what she needs to know, then BANG a huge contraction. Grip the bench. It’s double backed. I get hit twice in row. Oh, so now I am in labour. That hurt a bit. But it’s not in my back yet. So I still have ages to go. Someone is telling me to go get in the car. I am not ready. This is not real labour yet. It doesn’t hurt enough. Would you all just let me decide. But surely they wouldn’t be jeopardising my birth. Trust, Brooke. Trust them. It’s all lining up, and apparently I am going to give birth whether I want to or not. You hand picked this crew. They seem to know what’s going on. Melissa has made a sanctuary in the car for me. Megan holds my hand. Melissa drives. Andrew follows in his car. I text my family to let them know I am going to birth. The car trip sucks. I grip the roof. I need to stand up. I can’t sit. Arrive at hospital as Laura pulls up. How did she know? It’s dark. Wow the whole day passed so fast. What time is it? Who cares? Grip signpost, gather strength. WALK NOW. I move fast in a straight line to the toilet. I need to go badly. I still don’t think I am close to birthing. This is stupid take me home. I will just sit in the toilet for a bit, I can just figure out my plan. My plan, get the baby out. Lets just do this. We get to the lift.We get upstairs. Confusion. I didn’t follow some rules. I forget where to go. People talk, doulas sort it. I prove I am in labour, discuss medication needs and get a room. Ooh a ball. Ohh even better, a toilet. Let me get there. Shit, now I am on the toilet, and I have to sit here through a contraction. BAD move. Got to stand. I hold the end of the bed and the side rail and pull/hang off there in waves. I am still talking in between rushes. I feel alive. People are talking to me, and apparently I am making sense. We are laughing a lot. I want to drink a lot. I need to pee a lot. Contractions come and go, this is still not hurting in my back. I am still sure this is not the real thing. Wait a minute. My toe hurts. What on earth? Half my toenail is torn off. Can I have a band aid please. Note to self, find out how that happened later. It’s all so different to how I expected the pain to be. I am coping too well. Surely I should be in the zone by now. Oh well, enjoy the ride, it’s going to be hours. My crew are with me two by two, helping me with cold washers on my back. Holding my hand. Grinning at me. Loving me. This is awesome. My midwife comes, she tells me she has read my birthplan. Cool. She asks if I need anything. I forget she exists and I don’t notice her for ages. I feel anxious about the fact that my membranes are still intact. I am upset and quite angry. Surely they should have exploded by now. I can’t bear the pressure. My midwife speaks, the only time I hear her. She reminds me that my body and my baby have their own plan, that’s it’s all unfolding as it should. She reminds me that my baby knows what he needs and that she has no intention of interfering and if I want to break my waters I have to get on with having a baby. Andrew reminds me to just TRUST. He seems really calm, sane and rational, like he KNOWS that the membranes have a purpose. I move between the toilet and the bed. That’s it. I rock and sway and dance a bit. Hands in the air. Tip my head back. This is awesome. Am I meant to enjoy this? Do I want a bath yet? No, it’s still too early, didn’t we only just get here? It doesn’t hurt enough yet and I don’t want it to all stop. It’s not going to stop Brooke. This is real labour. Someone hands me a warm face cloth. Put this on your peri. Huh? You want something of me. I know it. I can see you want me to do something with this cloth. I don’t understand. Oh, ok. I go along with it. Hmm, give me a few more contractions. I am coping. Megan and Melissa convince me it’s time. Fill it up, it’s going to take a while. It’s ready. Ok, lets get it on. Time to get this baby out please. Take a deep breath. Barrel down the hallway. Clothes off and in I get. Holy shit. Oh no. It’s too hot. Cool it down. Wait, hang on. This hurts NOW. It hurts. I am splitting open. I can’t catch a breath. BANG, whoa, this is hard work and I want to go home. I can’t do hours more of this. It’s too much. It’s too hard. Take me home now. I call out, help. HELP ME. HELP ME. I am in a dark room, in a warm tub. I have smiles surrounding me, calm, grinning faces. I can’t do this, this is insane. Who the hell wants to have a baby? Right now it intensifies about 1000 times and I am hit hard. I feel like if this lasts more than one more hit I will die. Oh, that’s right. This is transition. It will end. Melissa would you stop smiling at me please. Wait a second, I need to push. Uh oh. Andrew, where is he. Shit, I see the midwife’s feet. I am gripping someone, I think it was Megan. Push whoa bear down hard this rocks but wait aren’t I meant to push in bits, this is one long huge push and geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, what the hell was that? What do you mean it was just the membranes rupturing? NO WAY. What? The heads out? I thought that was just the waters breaking, what do you mean he’s half out. Who’s holding him? No I can’t hang on, deep breath. I am coming. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I just had a baby. Shit that was quick. Hey look, he’s out. Tristan. Wow. He is behind me, so I loop my leg over and grab my baby. Oh my god. That was awesome. Lets do that again. Wooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooo! Andrew has his hand on my shoulder. I feel really warm. He is big, and oh wow he looks so much like Will. I am getting cold and I let the crew know to keep me warm. They remind me to stay present and not let this take me away, I feel a pull to close my eyes. Nope, must stay present. I have a load of hot towels and stuff on me and we drain the bath. The water won’t go down because the caul is stuck in the plug hole. The time to move is now. I need to get on with getting this placenta out. I hand my fresh baby to Megan and her colour changes. I get in the wheel chair. I am warm. We get out into the hall and someone congratulates me. I beam. I have my entourage. Megan holds my baby while I contract more as the placenta moves out. I am really not liking this bit at all. I want to enjoy my baby. But this is kind of uncomfortable. Look at that giant long cord. I am getting impatient with this placenta and feel myself forcefully pushing. I try to hold up on doing that and eventually it comes away easy. Ahh relief. Who is going to cut the cord. I hadn’t picked anyone. Melissa caught him, Megan has held him as his placenta is born, Laura cuts his cord. I am so happy. So, so happy. We weigh him, Andrew is keen to pass on the size when he calls family. What’s his name? Tristan James. He weighs 4.78kg. Andrew leaves relatively soon. I have a shower. This is the first time ever post birth I have showered myself. I stand there. Watching the water and just cry. This is amazing. I climb into bed. I am still high. I talk to the midwife about my blood loss. She is happy to leave it for a bit longer, I am not. I want to relax now. I ask for a shot of syntometrine. She estimates that I am already at 500mls of blood lost and I just want to sleep without worrying about more gushes. She is happy to give me the shot, and if it doesn’t work we will go from there. I have the shot, and then I get comfy. My doulas are still with me, all on a high. The room is abuzz. After a while Laura leaves, and later again Melissa leaves, Megan camps in my room. I think someone set her up on the floor. I drift in and out of sleep. My baby feeds. He smells divine. I feel like I am radiating my high. This is how birth should have been for me all along. This is what makes a birth addict high.

Circle of Life Midwifery

2007-10-14T14:33:00.000+08:00

Circle of Life Midwifery

Three Goddesses

2007-10-13T07:25:00.000+08:00

A Baby Cries: How Should Parents Respond? by Jan Hunt, M.Sc.

2007-10-13T07:19:00.000+08:00

Imagine for a moment that you have been abducted by space ship to a distant planet, and you are surrounded by giant strangers whose language you do not speak. Two of those strangers take you under their care. You are entirely dependent on them for the satisfaction of all your needs - hunger, thirst, comfort, and - especially - reassurance that you are safe in this strange place. Then imagine that something is very wrong - you are in pain, or terribly thirsty, or in need of emotional support. But your two attendants ignore your cries of distress, and you are unable to get them to help you or to understand your needs. Now you have another problem, more serious than the first: you feel completely helpless and alone in an alien world. In all innocence, a baby assumes that we, as his parents, are correct - that whatever we do is what we ought to be doing. If we do nothing, the baby can only conclude that he is unloved because he is unlovable. It is not within his capabilities to conclude that we are only busy, distracted, worried, misled by "experts", or simply inexperienced as parents. No matter how deeply we love our baby, it is mostly the outward manifestations of that love that the baby can understand. No one likes to have his communication ignored. and if it is, this brings on feelings of helplessness and anger that inevitably damage the relationship. Such a response seems to be one that is universally experienced by adults, and there is no reason to conclude that it is any different for babies and children. Few people would ignore an adult while he repeatedly said, "Can you help me? I'm not feeling right." Ignoring such a request would be considered most unkind. But a baby cannot make such a statement; he can only cry and cry until someone responds - or until he gives up in despair. Immediate response to a baby's cry went unquestioned for thousands of years until recent times. In our culture, we assume that crying is normal and unavoidable for babies. Yet in natural societies where babies are carried close to the care-giver much of the day and night for the first several months, such crying is rare. In contrast to what many in our society would expect, babies cared for in this way show self-sufficiency sooner than do babies not receiving such care. In fact, research on early childhood experiences consistently shows that children who have enjoyed the most loving care in infancy become the most secure and loving adults, while those babies who have been forced into submissive behavior build up feelings of resentment and anger that may well be expressed later in harmful ways. In spite of this research, most arguments for ignoring crying are based on fears of "spoiling" the baby. A typical baby-care brochure advises the parent to "let the baby handle it for a while". Though infancy can be a challenging time for the parents, a baby is simply too young and inexperienced to "handle" the cause of the crying, whatever it may be. He cannot feed himself, change himself, or comfort himself in the way that nature intended. Clearly, it is the parents' responsibility to meet their baby's needs for nurturing, security, and love, not the baby's responsibility to meet his parents' need for peace and solitude. The pamphlet implies that if the parents give their baby an opportunity to become self-reliant, they are helping him to mature. But an infant is simply not capable of such maturity. True maturity reflects a strong foundation of emotional security that can only come about from the love and support of those closest to him during the earliest years. An immature person can only respond to stress in an immature way. A baby denied his birthright of comforting from his parents may respond by turning to ineffective self-stimulation (head-banging, rhythmic rocking, thumb-sucking, etc.) and emotional withdrawal from others. If his needs are routinely ignored, he may decide that loneliness and despair are preferable to risking further disappointment and rejection. Unfortunately, this decision, once made, can become a permanent outlook on life, leading to an emotionally impoverished life. Many child-care professionals feel that parental encouragement of self-satisfiers and over-substitution of material objects - teddy bears substituting for parents, strollers for arms, cribs for shared sleep, pacifiers for nursing, toys for parents' attention, music boxes for voices, formula for breast-milk, wind-up swings for laps - have led to an age of materialistic acquisition, personal loneliness and lack of emotional fulfillment.

Tristan and I

2007-10-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

Tristan is now 11 weeks old. Time flies when you're having fun! This was taken on Sunday at friend's place at a creative session... will show you the finished artwork soon. It was an amazing day hanging out with some very talented women, and kids having a great day with Dad while I had some *time out* with Tristan.

We had a playdate gathering here today, and it was chaos but the kids had a ball and somebody (ahem named Will) was asleep very early after being on the go all day. Rose and Michael stayed last night, and Will was so excited to wake and find his aunty and uncle asleep in his room, and here to play some more.

The house is really starting to come along now, with thanks to help from Vicki I have my patio back under control, and the *JB Women* gave me a hand doing some weeding today while the kids played and we had coffee and cake. Oh, and Vic, the zuchini and pineapple chutney was a total hit today, and I need to score some more soon, cos that jar was opened and eaten in less than a day. Mmmmm.

My next plan is create an art space in the shed again, and set it up so that we can use it as a space to manifest perfection in art, or at least dabble in creativity and crafty activities for the kids on a more regular basis. I am waiting on some supplies to arrive so I can complete my gifts to give to my doulas, I will post some pics when they are finished too. I finally finished writing my last birth story, so I will post that up when I get a chance, it's pretty long, despite it being a short labour. I guess I just like writing hey, heehee.

Yay for having my sanity back!

We are planning to head to CityFarm on Saturday, a train ride for the boys and a chance for me to have a look at permaculture and market stalls... yay. I think we have plans to be out and about every day for the next few days so we are going to have some tired boys of an afternoon and a mama keen for a hot bath and a cup of tea.

Well after a busy day it's time for me to go to bed I think. Tristan has had a whiney afternoon, and Lochlain just wants cuddles. Will is snoring away next to me on the couch, looking all beautiful and quiet.

Peace out

x B

The Parents Bill of Rights

2007-10-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

The Parents Bill of Rights: Putting Families Before Commercialism

from The Parents Bill of Rights

by Gary Ruskin and Jonathan Rowe

WHEREAS, the nurturing of character and strong values in children is one of the most important functions of any society; WHEREAS, the primary responsibility for the upbringing of children resides in their parents; WHEREAS, an aggressive commercial culture has invaded the relationship between parents and children, and has impeded the ability of parents to guide the upbringing of their own children; WHEREAS, corporate marketers have sought increasingly to bypass parents, and speak directly to children in order to tempt them with the most sophisticated tools that advertising executives, market researchers and psychologists can devise; WHEREAS, these marketers tend to glorify materialism, addiction, hedonism, violence, and anti-social behaviour, all of which are abhorrent to most parents; WHEREAS, parents find themselves locked in constant battle with this pervasive influence, and are hard pressed to keep the commercial culture and its degraded values out of their children's lives; WHEREAS, the aim of this corporate marketing is to turn children into agents of corporations in the home, so that they will nag their parents for the things they see advertised, thus sowing strife, stress and misery in the family; WHEREAS, the products advertised generally are ones parents themselves would not choose for their children: violent and sexually suggestive entertainment, video games, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, and junk food; WHEREAS, this aggressive commercial influence has contributed to an epidemic of marketing-related diseases in children, such as obesity, Type 2 diabetes, alcoholism, anorexia, and bulimia, while millions will eventually die from the marketing of tobacco; WHEREAS, corporations have latched onto the schools and compulsory school laws as a way to bypass parents and market their products and values to a captive audience of impressionable and trusting children; WHEREAS, these corporations ultimately are creatures of state law, and it is intolerable that they should use the rights and powers so granted for the purpose of undermining the authority of parents in these ways; THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that the Australian Parliament should right the balance between parents and corporations and restore to parents some measure of control over the commercial influences on their children, by enacting this Parents' Bill of Rights, including the following legislation: Leave Children Alone Act: Bans television advertising aimed at children under 12 years of age. Child Privacy Act: Restores to parents the ability to safeguard the privacy of their children. It gives parents the right to control any commercial use of personal information concerning their children, and the right to know precisely how such information is used. Children's Advertising Subsidy Revocation Act: It is intolerable that the federal government rewards corporations with tax write-offs for the money they spend on psychologists, market researchers, ad agencies, and media in their campaigns to instill their values in our children. This act eliminates all tax subsidies and deductions for advertising aimed at children under 12 years of age. Advertising to Children Accountability Act: This act helps parents affix individual responsibility for attempts to subject their children to commercial influence. It requires corporations to disclose who created each of their advertisements and who did the market research for each ad directed at children under 12 years of age. Commercial-Free Schools Act: Corporations have turned the public schools into advertising free-for-all zones. This act prohibits corporations from using the schools and compulsory school laws to bypass parents and pitch their products to impressionable schoolchildren. Product Placement Disclosure Act: This law gives parents more information with which to monitor the influences that prey upon their children through the media. Specifically, it requires corporations to disclose, on packaging and at the outset, any and all product placements on television and videos, and in movies, video games, and books. This prevents advertisers from sneaking ads into media that parents assume to be ad-free. Child Harm Disclosure Act: Parents have a right to know of any significant health effects of products they might purchase for their children. This act creates a legal duty for corporations to publicly disclose all information suggesting that their product(s) could substantially harm the health of children. Fairness Doctrine for Parents: This act provides parents with the opportunity to talk back to the media and the advertisers. It makes the Fairness Doctrine apply to all advertising to children under 12 years of age, providing parents and community with response time on broadcast TV and radio for advertising to children. Children's Food Labelling Act: Parents have a right to information about the food that corporations push upon their children. This act requires fast food restaurant chains to label contents of food and provide basic nutritional information about it.

Boys Having A Larf

2007-10-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

My men clowning around. 'Scuse the messy heads haha, I can't find any recent pictures of Tristan where there isn't another boy attacking (oops, sorry, LOVING) him. Poor mite doesn't get 5 minutes peace at the moment.

Making Positive Progress

2007-10-02T14:43:00.000+08:00

I had a great birthday in the end. Spent a bit of money (okay - a lot of money) at Ikea, and took myself out for lunch. We got some great stuff to get the house a bit more organised. Having a family of 5 has suddenly made me realise how much I value space, and how it's really something you have to conserve in a house to keep it sane. We have finished off the boys room for now, and you can actually see the floor!! I am pretty happy with how it is, and would like to change a few things as we go... but there is no real hurry for it, as they have beds and toys, what more do they need? Aesthetics to 4 and 2 year olds really mean nothing. Tristan's room has curtains, finally, and it looks like a proper nursery. I guess it's just a room for his day sleeps as he gets bigger and a space that as is his, other than that it doesn't really get used. I am hoping to post some pictures of how awesome the interior is starting to look now that I have got my act together and escaped the PND fog for what's seems like the final time. I was struck down horrifically last week by horrendous mastitis and spent a couple of days feeling really sorry for myself, and unable to do much do to the fever and the shakes. Don't you hate it when you just can't get warm? I resorted to a course of antibiotics, and am being very cautious about how often I am feeding Tristan, just to make sure I am not encouraging any blocked ducts. We had a massive breakthrough with Lochlain's speech in the last couple of weeks. He has added some two syllable words to his vocabulary, so we now have Bebe (Baby), Mummy(Money), and Beep Beep. We are getting there slowly. He is making much more of an effort to communicate with us non verbally, and his expression is done mostly in his hands and his face. Learning to read his cues is such a challenge, but we make do with what we can. He is making great progress with toilet training at the moment too, so it seems we are on the up and up with him. Not being pregnant allows me so much more patience with him, and I think he is really benefitting from me being able to play down at his level more. We spent yesterday morning at the park with some friends, and Will is now learning stunts and tricks. He is really keen on doing the more hardcore, physical, risk taking, co-ordination exercises that come naturally to kids. He is covered in scrapes and bruises, but it's all learning to him. Learning about his own capabilities and exercising his autonomy in deciding what he can and can't do. For me, it's scary to watch, but so far I am managing to just sit back and let him take stacks. He is really starting to come out of his shell and interact with other children on a far more physical level which is awesome. Tristan is just growing up. Already smiling and gooing at me. We are still weighing and measuring him just so I can grin about how fat he is. He only has one more appointment with the paediatrician as a follow up from when he had the Staph infection 6 weeks ago, but other than that we are in the clear with him. His toenails seem to be completely healed, and I am really vigilant about keeping them short and clean to avoid a repeat infection. He may need to see a surgeon at some stage about having the nail bed cut or something, but for as long as it remains no ingrown, it's less of a drama. Andrew is about 8 weeks away from the end of semester, and we can't wait. We are finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this degree, and in a year's time he will be a quialified primary school teacher. It's going to be awesome for him to move out into the workforce again, but this time in a role that he is going to enjoy and really wants to be a part of. Exams this year are probably going to be a bit of a stress, but like every year we will just bite the bullet and get through it as a family... lots of stress and door slamming no doubt. Haha. Me, well I am reading some great books right now. Currently have my nose buried in Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sarah J Buckley, and am about to start Money, Milk and Madness by Baumslag and Michels. Yes I do read a lot of activist/feminist/political texts but it's really keeping my brain spinning and I enjoy the challenge of adressing my preconceptions on certain issues. Tomorrow is a work day, and the rest of the week is free to hang out at the park with the boys, and maybe even do a rockpools visit if the weather is clear enough. I think we have a gathering to go to on Sunday that will involve painting banners and bags with handprints. They might end out being part of presents for people *hahaha*. Waiting on Fay to have her baby so I can head down to Bunbury and do her dishes and make a meal or two for her. She is about a week "over due" now, but as we all know, the baby doesn't come until *it* decides it's ready. So I am just waiting on a phonecall to let me know how big he is! Right, off to see if I can get some photos of the house uploaded for you all, and maybe a few of the boys! I have an article to finish writing and it's due tonight, so I better get to it. *eek* x B

Get Up - Climate Change

2007-09-29T15:53:00.000+08:00

Today, It's My Birthday. Happy Birthday To Me.

2007-09-29T10:29:00.000+08:00

Yep, that's right! 24 years ago my mama gave birth to me. Happy birthing day mama. I am planning on watching a bit of footy (go Cats) and probably going to head to ikea at some point. Yay. Right, off to have a day in the sun. x B

Monday Morning Coffee Update

2007-09-24T10:11:00.000+08:00

Here are a couple of pics of the lads, just so you can see how beautiful they are.

We are spending the day having a friend and her son over as it's raining and playgroup did not seem appealing today. Will probably spend most of the morning on the phone making appointment bookings and trying to get the car in for a service.

We have another busy week planned, and as I am working again the weeks revolve around keeping the domestic world under control.

This weekend is my birthday, but as with every year it is overshadowed by the AFL Grand Final, so we won't be doing anything.

We are making plans this week to go to Dongara for Ava's first birthday on the first weekend of November, and Will is going to have a joint birthday with her. Can't wait, as it will be our first trip in a LONG time. We get to sit on the beach and doing absolutely nothing for 3 days, I can't wait!!!

Andrew has a week off this week, so I think he is planning on doing some "Dad and boys stuff", like going swimming and playing golf. It will be the first break he has had since before Tristan was born, so it's going to be awesome to just slow down for a few days and really get to hang out as a family of 5.

Well, off to make a coffee and try and attack some of the washing pile (also known as Mt Foldmore) that is staring at me, begging to be folded. Hope everyone has a fantastic week, and I will update again soon.

Love to all.

Following the Money - Media and Healthcare

2007-09-22T09:22:00.000+08:00

A woman recently did a little bit of late night research into where the money for our private hospitals comes from. When you read anything in the press we all know that it presents and entirely biased view as nothing can exist in vacuum, but to what extent does what we are reading about the current health crisis and the push for private health care have more to do with making the rich richer in this country? Have a read of her post that I happened across:

So I was snooping around. 60 Minutes is owned by ninemsn, a joint 50/50 venue of Microsoft and PBL Media. Also owned by PBL Media is the Nine Network, and the Nine Network's news service assists in production of 60 minutes. PBL Media's parent companies are PBL and CVC. CVC owns 6 Australian companies, two of which are in the health sector - Affinity Health (Hospitals) and DCA (Medical Services) as well as controls the majority share (75%) in PBL Media. CVC is very dodgy. Very! But anyway thats not what caught my eye. Affinity was bought out by Ramsay Healthcare, the largest private hospital group in Australia. Out of idle curiosity I went to see who ran Ramsay and found their board of directors. 3 of the 8 Directors on Ramsay's board of directors are involved with Prime Television Limited to the extent they are also on Prime Television's board of directors. One's the fucking chairman, another's the deputy chairman and the third's a director.Prime Television has a joint venue with.... NINE NETWORK where Nine would provide programming and marketing. It seems to me that the board running Ramsay Healthcare would carry some influence with Prime Tv - and thus Channel Nine and other Australian news programs. Check out the other directors. They're on industry, investment, media and telecommunications board committees, one's even on a Pharmaceutical company. The Becker Group is a massive tv and film company. I'm seeing Big Money everywhere here. Billions. AND they're the men running the largest private hospital group in Australia. Guess whose interests they'll have at heart?

So the private health sector is predominantly controlled by the same people who financially control the media representation of that sector and people who have a vested interest in the perpetuation of an unequal, classist health care system in this country. Look at this in terms of just one aspect of the private health care services. Maternity care. Within the last 4 years of reading the print media here in Perth and occasionally nation media publications, it has been apparent that the pervading opinion is that our public health system is in crisis. But whose opinion is this? And is it really representative of the opinion of the people who utilise the public health system, or is it a manufactured belief due to the media pressure placed on the public system in an uncloaked attempt to promote the private health care providers and their services? Is what we read in our media really about a system struggling, or is it an advertisement for a user pays system? There have been countless articles and medical editorials printed in The West Australian that I have noticed in the last four years that have done nothing to dispel the common belief that public maternity services are dangerous, under-funded, inadequate and would be detrimental to most women opting to be a public patient in a maternity care setting in this state. But is that the truth? How do we measure maternity care? Is it the lack of intervention, or is the prevalence of intervention in a normal, physiological, biological function of the human female? Or is it the availability of intervention? Is it the aesthetics of the setting? Is it the maternal recollection and satisfaction with the experience that we use as a measure? Regardless, if you are to read the print media you would think that women who have to use or choose to use the public maternity services here are taking a great risk, not only for themselves but for their babies. But is this reflected in the Perinatal Statisitics? No. It’s not. Ahh, but surely high risk, high dependency mother’s choose private obstetric care and therefore the private maternity care providers statistics for perinatal outcome are skewed, and the more intervention that was both available and used in a woman’s birth could only cause to reflect that it must have been necessary and they were bloody lucky they chose (the argument of choice is another one I will refer you on for) that model of care, for heaven forbid if they had been a public patient, they may not have had access to a particular intervention. But did they really need it? Or was it all part of the “service”? Here is the research that debunks that flawed theory: Private Patients Get More Birth Interventions (2000). The fulltext of the research can be seen here: Obstetric Interventions Between Public and Private Patients (2000). Read the reports in the news media, and read that our health care system is in crisis, and then watch as people flock to the private care providers in droves. But wait, the men and women with the ultimate control of what we read in that same news media, are also the men and women who stand to gain the most significantly financially. So, does that mean we are not reading what is reality. Is the media weighting a bias between the public and private health care debate? You bet your bottom dollar they are. They undoubtedly set the agenda for what we read. “Media will serve the interests of whoever owns and controls them- whether this be private individuals interested in profit or governments interested in political control” (O’Shaughnessy & Stadler, 2005). Well, there you have it. But wait, even in Ramsay’s own published literature it states the same:

The Ramsay Way : · We are caring, progressive, enjoy our work and use a positive spirit to succeed · We take pride in our achievements and actively seek new ways of doing things better · We value integrity, credibility and respect for the individual · We build constructive relationships to achieve positive outcomes for all · We believe that success comes through recognizing and encouraging the value of people and teams
· We aim to grow our business while maintaining sustainable levels of profitability, providing a basis for stakeholder loyalty

Oh wait, you’re kidding? Profitability? These are women and babies we are talking about here, not stocks and bonds. Surely they aren’t making a profit on bringing our children into the world! HA, oh to be so naive. Every intervention performed on a birthing woman is remunerated by Medicare, and then topped up by private health insurers where a woman births as a private patient. So the private health service provider is running a business, even it if happens to be the business of birth. The propaganda spreads of how desperate our public maternity services are only serve to reinforce the belief that private maternity cover is not only the responsible choice, but also the “safer” choice. People like safe. I don’t blame them. I just have a very different idea of what safe really is. I also like to question what I am reading, and who determines that I should read it. Who decides that we should read such damning reports on the public system? Oh, they would be the people who have control over the private sector and stand to have the most to gain out of a mass exodus of birthing women from using public services, to utilising the “safer” private option… um yeah right. So read your paper, have your morning cup of tea. But remember, you are not reading what you choose to read, you are reading what someone else intends you to read. Be mindful of the media homogenisation that advertises the shortcomings of public obstetric care to covertly to line the pockets of private health bigwigs.

The Tools of a Revolutionary - What Will You Do?

2007-09-21T22:44:00.001+08:00

I have taken this from another blog, and posted it here to spark some thought. I found it stirring.

Taken from: http://down---to---earth.blogspot.com/
What will you do? The tools of a revolutionary. There comes a point when everyone needs to make a conscious decision to make changes that need to be made. How many times have we talked about small steps, how many times have you seen that strategy in magazines, online or in newspapers; how often have you already used the small steps strategy? We all know small steps work.Everyone in the world need to change a little, or a lot, to become greener. We need to change our idea that there is a product for everything; we have to stop buying the mountain of products that will end up in landfill or will pollute in some way. Everyone has a part to play in this, everyone needs to help.It doesn't matter if you can afford to buy lots of electricity or water, or if you can buy new clothes, shoes, paper plates and napkins or a million other products that harm the planet, until the cows come home, we all need to stop doing it. And we need to do it because it's the right thing to do - it is important, it will help, every small step does.So today my friends, I want you to commit to your change. I want you step up today and decide that even if you haven't done anything yet for your planet, and especially if you have, today I want you to tell me in the comments box what small step will start or continue you along the road to a greener life. I want you to tell me about your change and how it will affect your life. Please don't close this blog down now and walk away. Today is the day when instead of just knowing that something needs to be done, you start doing it.I commit to stop using tea bags. From now on I will use up the organic black tea bags I have in the pantry, then I will only buy loose tea. I have some my metal tea containers that I can use loose tea in that will be similar, but not quite as convenient, as a tea bag. Loose tea is cheaper and better than tea in bags, so I win on that aspect, but if lack of convenience is the price I pay to stop wasting all that filter paper, string, a label and one staple for every cup of tea, that, my friends, is the price I will payI want every one of you to email this post to a friend so we can get a million small steps happening. I want you to help me tell as many people as possible that we are doing this. And, most of all, I want to know what you will do.
Posted by Rhonda Jean at 13:28 30 comments

Now for me, this is about small steps, leading to bigger change. We are doing "small stuff" like recycling, teaching the kids to not waste their drawing paper, find household items that can be re-used, but our biggest commitment to this has been having our car gas converted. I am making an effort to stop the cycle of being a perpetual consumer, and I am starting to get serious about minimising my footprint that I leave on this earth. Tristan wears cloth nappies, my children wear hand me down clothing (well when it's offered), I breastfeed (which if you actually look at the green-ness of it, is one of the most environmentally friendly things that I do). My aim for the next 12 months is to reduce, reuse and recycle as much in my life as possible for a beginning greenie. If you have any fantastic ideas or inspiration, please pass it on...

A birth that was JUST A BIRTH.

2007-09-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

A birth that was JUST A BIRTH.

I will come back to edit this with my version (as in my perspective), but for now, this is my birth story, as witnessed by my three doulas and my husband. This is the midwife's version of events: 21/07/07 21:20 Care taken over. Brooke contracting 3:10, strong by pt reaction. Sounds pushy. Labetalol 100mg given. Standing. FHH 130-150, no decels audible before, during or after a contractions. 21:30 Consent given for intermittent monitoring. Consultant review: 1st delivery c/s, 2nd delivery SVD at home. This pregnancy polyhydramnios. Wants non standard care. 22:00 Brooke coping well with contractions. 3:10 lasting 60-90 seconds. FHH 150-160. No decels audible post contraction. Baby active. P.U.I.T. Membranes remain intact. Doulas very supportive. Husband Andrew also present. 22:30 Discussed with Brooke her consent for VE once in active labour. At present she does not consent for VE. Says she wants to wait a bit longer. 22:35 Brooke breathing well through. May want to use bath soon. Running same. 23:05 Brooke in bath. 23:30 In bath still FHH 140bpm. 23:50 Sounding pushy +++. FHH 160bpm. No decels. 23:52 Head d.elivered in caul. 23:53 SVD Boy. 23:59 Out of bath. 22/07/07 00:40 (Written in retrospect). Placenta delivered physiologically at 00:30. Cut by support person. Babe skin to skin. Breastfeeding.

Beginnings...

2007-09-21T16:45:00.000+08:00

Well here I am beginning a blog. Shock horror... I am entering the cyberspace chaos. Today, is beautiful. Spring has arrived in full Perth glory and the boys have had an amazing day playing with friends down Fremantle way, and they are all currently napping on the couch, giving me some much needed silence for a bit before we enter the nightly mayhem. I am creating this blog as a space for my family and friends to check in on me and the boys, as I am finding that I am just far too busy to make many phonecalls, write emails or catch up with people. Our days are full of playing and being out and active, and keeping the house under control. Tristan is 9 weeks old tomorrow, and is an amazing little man. So chilled out, and is just a pleasure to be around right now. He is currently asleep on my lap with his mohawk looking spunky in his stripy leg warmers. Lochlain is 2 now, and a real little man. An amazing kid, so sparkly and so full of expression. He is really coming along now with catching up on a few things and has decided that he is ready to toilet train now, and as the weather is getting warmer, we are all stoked to let him roll with it as he is comfortable. Will, my threenager. Geez, he is a big kid now! He just wants to play, play, play. Hardcore energy that one. Keeps me busy and loves to be out and about and hanging out with playgroup friends. He is due to start kindy next year! YAY!! Ahhh, my peace was shortlived. Tristan is looking for *boob*. Stay tuned.